Savior for All Redeemer for Me
by HerosnMira
Summary: It is about a young girl on the eve of womanhood who is on a journey of discovering herself through incredible trials and that love is never far away. Summary may be crappy but story is good. Rated T for language and slight violent content. Story now complete.
1. chapter I thru VI

Savior for all, Redeemer for me

**Rating**: M not all parts are M but I don't feel like switching ratings every other chapter so just deal with it.

**Warnings: Language, graphic content, sexual content, blood guts and gore and other stuff like that. If you don't like that sort of thing then what the fuck did you click on this site for.**

**Disclaimer**: People I wrote this story for me. It has been in my head and on going since I was twelve (no I will not tell you how old I am now) and with the inspiration of a D&D group I finally decided to write the damn thing down. However I do need constructive criticism because I may end up losing my friend/proof reader over our discussions on my story. (_She never lets me finish my damn sentences bitch_) Flames are welcome so long as they don't go overboard. Suggestions are very much wanted please share them with me.

Some Characters I made up a lot I barrowed from books, comic books, tv shows and movies. Some Characters are based on real people I know why because I could and I like making them do what I say. I don't own any character from books, comic books, tv shows or movies if I did then I wouldn't need all these damn student loans I need to pay off. I do own the rest so hands off my characters I put a lot of effort into them you know.

If you can guess where the characters come from then you need to get a life man or you will end up just like me (shudder shudder). Anyway on with the story.

I. Prolog

Hi my name is Christy Michelle. I have a last name too but I never tell anyone what it is. I was born June 8, 1981 in the Country called America. I could go into more details but I don't want to make it easier for my enemies to find me.

I am the ugly duckling that never turned into a swan. I am short and don't bother to deny it. I am 5'0" and am finally slender. I am the youngest of '4' with an older brother Jared and two older sisters; Toni and Amanda. My mother always called me her "little reward" probably for not drowning the other three or giving them up to foster care.

My parents were married after knowing each other for 6 weeks. Talk about love at first sight. My parents each belonged to different faiths but decided to find a church they could join together and they found one. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons) church which is the only doctrine I was taught growing up. My dad was a priest in the church and my brother was also in the priesthood as soon as he was twelve. By the time my brother died he was an ordained priest.

One thing my father does as a priest is give a 'father's blessing' and you guessed it the blessing is performed by the person's father. The first father's blessing that was given to me was the official 'blessing' that names us for church records when I was an infant (two weeks to a couple of months). It is the usual practice to write down what is said in the blessing but my family didn't do that.

Mine was different but no-one listening to the blessing that day could have guessed what those innocent words would mean to my life and all those that share it with me. "The official name that you will be known while in this life is Christy Michelle … I give you a blessing at this time. Christy I bless you to always have family with you. (fucking Richard and his men) You will know the strength of love and friendship (but the price paid) as strong as the Lord loves you. Christy you will meet your one true love and soul mate at a young age. (age 5) You will be a part of him until you lye down beside one another. Christy you will be blessed to accomplish tasks that no one can believe a human can achieve (why oh why did I have to deal with them). You will be an example to others all your life and will be an instrument of God to spread a message of love to all those you meet along your path. Christy you will be loved by many and will bring hope to the lives of countless individuals. You will have many children and you will know a mothers unconditional love for her children. Christy you will know hardships and trials but the Lord will be with you always and these trials will be made into strengths (why me). You are a servant of God and He will watch over you and protect you wherever you may be. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

No one could have known that on that day my dad wasn't just issuing a blessing but a prophecy. I never learned about the words of my blessing until my wedding day when it was finally told to me. It made everything in my life make sense. (WHY ME!)

II. Family Dynamics

Anyway I get ahead of myself again. My childhood was a typical younger sibling torture technique. My siblings were loud and violent boy did they rough house. I was the abnormal one I was very independent. I rocked myself to sleep and could entertain myself for hours alone in the play pen.

I remember even at an early age asking myself some rather pointed questions. Does my family love me? Do they care about me? Would they miss me when I am gone? If I were to drop dead right here in front of them would they even notice I was gone? That sort of thing honestly I can't remember when I didn't ask myself those questions.

I was lonely surrounded by people. It was not just with my family but with the people I interact with everyday. Even in my circle of friends I felt like an outsider hanger on that they allowed too hang with them not in the middle or even part of the circle. I was always looking in even if they had their hands outstretched to me.

Besides I just figured I deserved to feel this way. I was not talented like my siblings; I was totally uncoordinated I could trip over my own feet doing nothing but standing there I was such a klutz. I was deaf (temporarily), blind (got glasses in third grade cause I was near sighted and I have no depth perception) and stupid. I just wasn't as smart as anyone else I knew. (Shut up Demos and Richard). (STOP LYING ABOUT YOURSELF)!

I was fat, short and ugly and only the fat part has changed thanks to starvation diet technique and a merciful god. (SHUT UP YOU GUYS!)(AH So you do love me!)(NO I love the other GOD.)(*CRYS A LOT VERY SAD*.) I was un-athletic and all the rest of my friends and family were very athletic. Is it any wonder I had so many suicidal thoughts growing up, kinda glad I never acted them out. I certainly had nothing going for me and who would miss me anyway.

Lucky for me I had a gift that got me through it all. I can see the good in people. No matter what, I could always find something good about another person. Also I could never hold a grudge (although I did try and still do) (lair!)(Richard this is my story get out).(no.)

But at least I had a protector my older brother (not you Richard). He always protected me from everything…my sisters, the world, just everything. We had a lot in common surprisingly and hung out a lot.

In fact another gift I discovered I had was if I stayed quiet they forgot I was even in the room and I got to hear all their secrets. In fact they never realized I was in the room until I could not help but laugh at what was being said.

I swear the only time they remembered that they had a younger sibling is when they wanted a servant or a test dummy guess who got to be both. Now you know why I didn't mind disappearing (too bad I can't do it for Richard nothing gets past that damn man).

Still it wasn't all bad I never had to fight my battles they did it for me. I never bothered to learn how to cook (you can't make me learn Richard/Becka)(which one do you mean.) ( Both you do it in every life time.) because I had two parents and three siblings that were willing to do it for me.

Anyway on with the story it is now my first day of kindergarten and the first boy I see is the man who will become my husband. It was love at first sight for me and he didn't even know I existed. We lived pretty close to each other he was just down the road from me and one time he invited me over to play with him all day (or what felt like all day).

This god among men is named Nicholas and he is all mine (NO ALFONSE JUST NO). But like I said he didn't even know I exist I think it was desperation that caused him to ask me over that day more than desire to get to know me. I got to be in the home of my secret crush. Oh I will so take desperation to have his eyes on me. It was that year that dad told us he accepted a position overseas and we were moving to Scotland.

III. Childhood Scotland

I was six years old when we went to Scotland. I got to tell you it was a magical place to grow up in. We lived in a village called Edzell and this was a real life utopia. Dad called it going back in time to the 1950's America, no Vinny not New York.

You know where you see in movies where babies were left in the baby carriage outside the store while the parents went in to shop. Surrounding baby was all the purchases from other stores already visited completely unattended. They lived in a world where 'why should I worry about someone taking it. That's not theirs so they won't touch it.' Yeah that is where I ended up growing up. This tour of duty lasted three years and it was the happiest memories of my entire life.

Anyway I get ahead of myself. We lived in this house at the edge of the village (right by the Arc that signifies that you are entering the village) with its own name. You only read about this stuff in books and see it in movies but the house really had its own name. It was called the Birches and this place was **huge**.

By some miracle we were able to rent a freaking mansion for the entire time we were there. In fact another family wanted it but mine got their first. This other family just happened to be one of my best friends and constant companion but I get ahead of myself again. My sisters will try to tell you they don't remember sharing their room with me but they did so don't believe anything they tell you their memories are skewered and since they terrorized me and traumatized me in the past believe me I remember what they did to me. I remember it all.

Ok I digressed again. Everything about this house was totally cool and totally huge. So you can grasp just how big this house was one year the youth center on base was closed and they were going to cancel the Halloween party but we convinced them to let us have it at our house. We were able to house the entire youth on base for this party in just the pink room (SHUT UP YOU ASSHOLES) without making anyone feel claustrophobic.

So on to the people. We were one of three American families that lived in the village at the time (at least with kids) so once we found that out we tended to be always with each other. Girls first that means talking about my friend Megan. She had an older sister (same class as Toni) and an older brother (same class as my brother). My other best friend was Scott. He had an older brother only (same class as Toni). My sister out of desperation would play with either group just depended on her mood.

My friends all had dogs Scott had two black labs (I think that's the breed) and Megan had a cockerspanial. Scott's house was right next door to the village library and just happens to be in the exact center of the village. Megan lived off of one of the side streets in the newer part of town their houses had names to but I only remember that Megan's house was named something cottage. We did hang out at their places too it's just that normally we were at my house 'because it had a huge yard.

I met Megan on the first day of school my first grade year. Mom dropped us off in front of the school and it was up to us to find out where to go (gee thanks mom force the worlds shyest girl to ask complete strangers for direction to the classroom yeah that will be easy). Lucky for me Megan and her mom (why her mom could bring her in and mine couldn't I just don't get it) were in front of me and they were asking for just the place I needed to find. I just followed them and didn't need to worry about freezing up when I had to ask for the first grade classroom. Scott was a grade ahead of us so we only got to see him on the bus and at lunch when at school.

There are a few special things that I do remember about the school. See we didn't have a cafeteria so we had lunch tables set out in the hall for those of us who ride in on buses (if you live on the base then you went home for lunch). But on Friday's the PTA would bring in hot lunches that you could buy to eat in stead.

Another big thing I remember were the holidays that we celebrated and the biggest two was the Burns Supper and Guy Fawkes Day. This is their Fourth of July it is huge deal. We have poems and songs that are sung on that day it is one big party day at school. It is an even bigger party day when the night comes and the real festivities begin. We are talking five alarm bonfire and fireworks all night long.

Then there is the Robert Burns Supper. Man that is a production. Every class has a 'performance' of some sort to perform and there are individual performances as well. PTA members were given assignments that helped with food of set up. One year it was my mom's turn and she came home with this turnip the size of a small dog. The food for Robbie Burns Supper was the same every year potatoes, turnips, and haggis (a Scottish delicacy). I always say that haggis is an acquired taste and I just never acquired it. Anyway we would get out of school to attend the supper and it would last the whole afternoon well at least several hours. I loved Rabbie Burns day it was a party day and a chance to practice one last time before show time.

I was just your typical kid in those days doing typical kid things. I would hang out with my friends. I joined extra-curricular activities such as scouts and sports (me sports I still can't believe it). I still remember the year I joined the field hockey team (how the hell did they manage to find a skirt that fit me I was a chubby little thing). We lived there during the time of the Berlin Wall coming down. We also had some cool vacations around Europe (well France, Germany, and all around the island of the United Kingdom anyway).

IV. Nightmares Back Home

I am now nine years old and told that it is time to go back home to America. I don't want to go back I wanted to stay in Scotland always. I quietly asked god in my heart to find a way to keep my family in Scotland. I should never have asked that I should have asked to never return to Scotland my wish filled my life and all my friends lives with pain. But I get ahead of myself. Don't say I didn't give you enough hints when it starts to get graphic. You don't want nightmares leave now.

We moved back to the same house we lived in when I was five. Things were going fine in a back to rude reality check. What little self-esteem I managed to find in Scotland I lost in school back 'home'.

This was the first time I learned you could have enemies. In Scotland we were friendly to everyone. Why should we be enemies when you only had to put up with someone for three years? You can put up with anyone or anything if you know it will only last for three years.

Life would have been better if not for the nightmares. I had nightmares every night and they were vivid. I dreamed of bad men that were coming to hurt my family and our friends. One nightmare was really scary because the bad men came to my house and took my family. In my dream I could hear my mom cry and she only cries at movies not for real life stuff. I dreamed that theses bad men found my sisters who were hiding in the house and I dreamed that they were threatening to kill my brother. It felt so real as if it wasn't a dream but really happening. I woke up screaming covered in sweat begging the bad men to leave us alone we did nothing wrong.

Mom always came into comfort me she told me that bad dreams weren't real and they can't hurt me. I believed her she sounded so convincing she told me there was no bad men. Mommy lied to me the bad men were real **very very real**.

Mom forgot one thing really weird about the women in my family we all have the same gift. We all have special dreams. Our dreams (or visions as I call them) show us the future. My mom, sisters, and I have this gift it just varies how often and how detailed these future dreams can be but we all had them. I being so young and such a tv addict would actually dream commercials in their entirety before they would air on tv like weeks in advance.

If mom had remembered that I had her gift then maybe things would have turned out a whole lot differently. Maybe all the damage physically, emotionally, mentally, and psyche wouldn't have happened. Well she didn't and it didn't. That is you last warning for the sake of your sanity if you can't handle knowing the details behind that statement then get the **hell** out now. Once I start I will not stop no matter how traumatized you get because of it. I survived **living** it and so you can survive hearing it.

I was nine and one half years old my brother who is six years and six months apart from me just had his birthday. So the month is January the start of a new year boy if we only knew what kind of year was going to start we would have bought a gun…or twelve. But the only 'dream girl' in the house having a glimpse of the future was me and no-one believed it was the future I saw each night. No one believed in me or my warnings (that is a pattern that keeps repeating)(you tell the wrong people them love. Ps some things are to happen no matter what you do, cause they happen to help others you don't know about)(I do realize that it still hurts).

V. The Nightmare begins

It was your typical day of the week (a Tuesday actually) there were no signs, no omens, and no warning of any kind that today marked a day that we would not soon forget. It was after 4pm all of us were home and just doing typical stuff. When I looked out the window and saw the strangest sight that my young eyes ever saw.

There were men with guns _walking_ up the driveway. It looked like there were a hundred or more men coming toward my house. I knew these men these were the men from my dream all those months back. I scream out for everyone to come look and we all flock to the living room window. I never saw my parents so scared they told us kids to hide as they ran into the kitchen.

We have no weapons of any kind in my house just the sharp knives used for cooking. They grab the biggest sharp knives they can find and stand at the top of the stairs ready to defend their children from armed gun toting invaders with just a couple of kitchen knives. My brother who had just turned sixteen also grabbed sharp knives from the kitchen and stood beside my parents to protect and defend his younger sisters.

I had always called my brother my 'little protector' but now those words proved to be prophetic. I was very proud of my brother that day and hope to be even half the human being that he is.

My oldest sister Toni hid downstairs in one of the rooms downstairs I think it was my brothers. My other sister Amanda hid in my parents room bathroom shower behind the curtain. I hid in our bathroom.

I shut the door and drew the curtain to make it look like I was hiding behind it. I wasn't I was counting on being tiny. The sink in that bathroom has a cabinet underneath for storage. Both sides were pretty full but I knew my best bet was to hide in the cabinet. So I moved everything from the sink-side of the cabinets (where all the pipes are you see) and shoved them into the other side. Then I turned out the light and crawled in backwards into the space under the sink. I scrunched up into a ball with my butt to one side of the pipes and back against the wall and my knees drawn up so they were on the other side of the pipe. I had my arms wrapped around my legs and my head down on my knees sort of in my lap.

Anyway I was able to face out towards the bathroom and have the door of the cabinet completely closed. I wish my ears had been as easily closed as those bathroom doors.

We were finally all hidden and our parents and brother ready to fight for us. My dad at the last moment realized the front door was still unlocked and ran down the stairs to lock it. He got to the door at the same time they were shoving it open. My dad was rendered unconscious and didn't get a chance to fight the bad men that day. That always ate him up that he couldn't fight for his family. My mother was terrified and my brother was determined to protect his women.

The way the house was set up as a split foyer meant that it was a bottle neck for invaders. My dad had no idea that was the case when he was having the house built but it was true. The bad men could only come at my family two at a time for that was the size of the doorway and staircase they had to travel (if they came in sideways honest those things are small). If we had any fighting training or even natural strategy then we could have used that to our advantage. But that ain't us and never will be. (At least for the rest of my family I did learn strategy latter on in life).

My brother was the most awesome big brother ever. He managed to stab two of the bad men before they overwhelmed him. Mom gave up any chance at fighting when they had a gun to his head and threatened to blow it off if she resisted. She screamed at them to let him go I could hear the tears even from where I was hidden. Well that may have had to do with the fact I was only three feet maybe five feet away. All that matters is that she didn't really fight back either sort of like my dad. So half of us are captured in like two minutes of them arriving. Wow does our fighting style suck. (You wonder why I was so obsessed about learning different styles of fighting).

Not long after they had subdued my 'fighting' relatives they started to find us girls. They found Toni first that was just a given I mean half the forces go up the other down to start searching the basement level. I could hear her scream for my parents and I heard mom cry even harder. With no more resistance they made short work of finding my sister. I don't know why but they started with the rooms at the farthest from the door. Maybe they hoped to herd us like cattle right to them.

Anyway they found my sister Amanda. My sis was pretty cool she probably heard our sister scream and decided to be different. Oh she was still scared and knew she couldn't help but scream to so she tried to make it a tough girl scream. It was like 'you just wait I'll make you sorry' type scream. Mom cried even harder. I now understand the phrase weeping and wailing for that is what mom started to do.

Now they are in the room where I am hiding. It is a narrow but decent size bathroom really only one or two was needed to search this thing three people wouldn't fit in it. I heard them check the bathtub as the sound of the curtain being jerked aside filled my ears. I heard them check that little alcove by the toilet that the rest of the counter top made.

See one wall was the bathtub and the other wall was the countertop with the sink then the third wall was the toilet that faced the fourth wall the door leading into the bathroom. Think skinny rectangle and you got my bathroom. So half the countertop had the cabinet underneath it and the other half was just a 'hole' where we put the trashcan. The half of the cabinet I was hiding in was right next to this 'hole' so I heard them bend down to look in the 'hole'.

Then they opened up the cabinet. By some stroke of luck or divine intervention they opened up the other side first. That side was crammed full of crap since I just shoved everything over to make room for me it looked a real mess think tornado came through disaster mess. They started to open up my side I could see the light from the room come closer and closer to my foot.

I knew that if that light hit me they would find me so I scrunched up as small as I could to the point where I couldn't make myself any smaller. That door just kept opening up. It stopped just before my foot like line in the sand toe at the line stopped. I heard them speak to each other. "Forget it no one is under there the other side is probably as full of junk as this side let's go we found them all." They shut the door and left the room.

I could hear them taking my family away and I can't even begin to describe how scared I was. I hated being lonely but for the first time ever I felt alone like I was the only one left (he he because I was) and I didn't like that feeling. But I knew that I had to stay hidden incase the bad men looked one more time through the house.

I just heard my family terrified voices sounds get farther away until I couldn't hear them anymore. Even then I stayed in that cabinet for several hours to make sure the bad men were really gone. I went to the living room window and looked out there was no one there now I was alone in the house and I didn't know if I would ever see my family again. (Really if you think about it I only saw them a couple of times more after this day).

VI. Damnit They Found Me

I was on my own for three days. I survived off of cereal and peanut butter sandwiches. No I never called the police or let anyone know that my family was missing. I don't know why I guess I was just a dumb kid (Richard one comment and I will find a way to kill you).

I kept my routine to keep the fear I felt inside to 'manageable' levels. I went to school like I was supposed to and went to bed like I was supposed to but I never connected the fact that my friends seemed to be all sick. What can I say I was a scarred kid who never had to think for her-self before? Obviously I could have done better (SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU. QUIT SMIRKING OR I WILL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOU MORTAL AND SELL BULLETS TO YOUR EMIMIES)(PLEASE TRY) but considering how scarred and confused I was I was quite proud of the fact that I could function.

Anyway after the third day I got a rude awakening. The bad men were coming back up the driveway. I guess they over heard that I was missing still and decided to come find me. So I decided to hide in the bathroom again.

It still makes me laugh whenever I think of my second hiding spot. Man I could be so stupid. I hid in the shower 'area'. The actual place is the corner ceiling by the shower head. The way the bathtub is set up is it has built in shelves to house shampoo and stuff and it has a small rim where the top of the tub wall meets the house wall. There is about one and a half feet or like two feet of space from the top of the tub wall and the ceiling. It is that space where I decided to hide. Yes I was in plain sight but I hoped they would look into the tub not up where I was at.

No such luck they saw me like as soon as they entered to room. The armed men pulled aside the shower curtain so they could reach me and get me down. I remembered the gymnastics people of the Olympics had this bar that they swung around on so I wanted to see if that would work with a shower rod.

It sort of did I knocked the man to the floor and tried to run past him but he grabbed my ankle and would not let go even when I kicked him with my other foot. I was quickly captured.

They bound my hands behind my back and blindfolded me then marched me out of my home and down the driveway. They didn't need to worry about secrecy because everyone around was already captured. The bastards kept their truck at the bottom of the hill.

As I was walking I had a thought that entered my mind. I don't know where this thought came from because it sure as hell wasn't a thought I would have had before. I thought to myself 'I wonder if I can get away from them and run.' So I tried it. I stumbled to my left and they corrected me so I knew now that there were people on that side of me. I stumbled to my right and they corrected me so now I knew that there were people on that side of me as well.

Another thought entered my mind that I could make a mad dash and get away. I thought to myself that knowing my luck I would run full force into a tree. So I decided to cooperate and see if I can figure out where they are taking me and try to escape then.

I was never brave in my life so where the hell were all these brave and daring thoughts coming from. What would have happened if I had listened to those thoughts and tried to escape? In a way I am very glad that I didn't listen. I wouldn't be who I am now without going with them. (I would have been more inept then what you think of me now guys. Like I don't know you think of me of eternally lacking in everything.)(lie number five.)(huh? you still can't count.)


	2. Chapter VII thru XII

Savior for all, Redeemer for me

**Rating**: M not all parts are M but I don't feel like switching ratings every other chapter so just deal with it.

**Warnings: Language, graphic content, sexual content, blood guts and gore and other stuff like that. If you don't like that sort of thing then what the fuck did you click on this site for.**

**Disclaimer**: People I wrote this story for me. It has been in my head and on going since I was twelve (no I will not tell you how old I am now) and with the inspiration of a D&D group I finally decided to write the damn thing down. However I do need constructive criticism because I may end up losing my friend/proof reader over our discussions on my story. (_She never lets me finish my damn sentences bitch_) Flames are welcome so long as they don't go overboard. Suggestions are very much wanted please share them with me.

Some Characters I made up a lot I barrowed from books, comic books, tv shows and movies. Some Characters are based on real people I know why because I could and I like making them do what I say. I don't own any character from books, comic books, tv shows or movies if I did then I wouldn't need all these damn student loans I need to pay off. I do own the rest so hands off my characters I put a lot of effort into them you know.

If you can guess where the characters come from then you need to get a life man or you will end up just like me (shudder shudder). Anyway on with the story.

VII The Boring Torture

I was in that truck for a long time. Then we got out I could smell the water we were near the ocean. They put me on a boat and that was it. It is impossible to gage distance and days when the only thing you are aware of is a rocking boat under your butt. I guess they made good time because they never feed me and surprisingly I never felt hungry.

We arrived on the other side of whatever water we crossed I only knew it was the ocean but I had no way of knowing 'which' one. We got out and I was put into another truck. It was a quick trip and then I was taken indoors the sudden shadow and lack of breeze was a dead give away.

We walked down hallways or maybe just one big winding one I don't know but I do know we walked on hard non-carpet surface.

We finally got to our destination and entered a room. I was placed in a chair and surprisingly my arms were freed as well as the blindfold taken off. I guess when you are alone in the middle of enemy territory and unarmed the enemy gets cocky and don't see you as a threat. That would change soon.

I looked around at where I was taken too. It's stone everywhere the ceiling, walls and the floor. I close my eyes and stomp my foot on the ground yup that is the same feeling as the hallway I just walked down so maybe the hall is stone floor too.

I open back up my eyes and pay attention to my surroundings. The room is set up as a sort of classroom or in-home lecture hall. There is a podium and small 'stage' up front and chairs arranged in rows in front of it. 'Maybe this is a briefing room where the bad men are told who to kidnap today' I think to myself. (The sad thing is that is probably what it was used for).

Finally I notice the people in the room. There sure as hell aren't many just three that I can see. Two guards on either side of me not restraining me yet but close enough to grab me if I try to move. Then there was Him.

The man that I would come to know (real soon) as the leader of the bad men and the son of a bitch responsible for all the heartache and trauma that we would endure; standing to the side of the podium hand lightly touching the side as he poses in front of me.

He perverted my favorite color as he was dressed head to toe in all blue. It looked like he had a dishtowel draped over his head with eyeholes cut out. 'You need to come up with a better mask that's just stupid looking.' _What where the hell did that thought come from? I don't talk like that I don't talk back to anyone not even in my head._

Anyway he was dressed in this military looking uniform with black calf high boots that was supposed to look imposing. (Becka if you had any idea what it took for me to put on that damn blue uniform you would have fucking drugged me.) It was that deep sky or ocean blue my favorite variation of the damn color. For the record this fucking sucks every time I look at my favorite color I get sucked into a psychologically damaging memory. Damnit!

He made sure I had plenty of time to look at him. Aren't you the preening little prat fucking bastard. He starts to talk, "Welcome little girl to where you belong. You are here to help in a great cause and your cooperation will be noted." He speaks in this monotone voice how boring can you get.

I speak up "Are you stupid or just on drugs?" _Holy shit where did that come from? Did that just leave __**my**__ mouth?_ I could not believe I just said that it sounds like something my fearless older sister Amanda would say.

Did you know it was possible to see someone narrow their eyes through an eye slit? Well it is possible because I saw him do it. I don't think he likes sass talk. (Richard how long did he know you). I realized soon after that he had a nefarious way of punishing sass talk. (How many times did you get that treatment Richard?)

But I guess first time offense he decided to shrug off because he kept going. "I need your help to persuade your elders in sharing information with us that can complete our vision. You do want to be a good little girl don't you and this is a very good vision that we are trying to bring about."

I look up at him and deliver the killing blow to his 'nice guy' routine. "Okay not on drugs you are just fucking delusional and a mother fucking Neanderthal. If you think anyone will willingly help the guy that stole them away from their nice warm home and dumped them in gosh knows where you are the emperor of crazyville. If my **elders** are being uncooperative then I guess it means their wisdom and intelligence is shining through. I can see why you would want to learn form them see how you lack all of the above in your own life but please don't expect me to be able to pull a miracle like giving you a fucking clue out of my ass I'm not that good. Go to hell you lying sack of shit I may be young but I'm not nearly as stupid as you." _Oh My Gosh! Where are these words coming from they are so not me?_ (Oh God I was channeling Richard and all his men during that whole speech).

He really didn't like my answer. I now found out just how torturous listening to someone talk could be. Wow boring is torture don't let anyone tell you different. He told his entire life story in detail to me. In a flat monotone voice that droned on and on.

As soon as I squirmed the first time the guards grabbed onto me and held me in place. This man I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt has done nothing interesting in his life except form this terrorist organization.

Uh oh I just pissed off a terrorist in his domain. This is not good. Oh my gosh this man is so boring I am going to go insane if I have to listen to him for one more minute. I have an idea on how to get away from his damn talking. I am going to have a fit.

So I start my plan I know that I need to go slow if it is to be believable. I start to sway a little and roll my eyes around. The guards just tighten their grip. Oww gonna have bruise from that. Okay swaying equals pain let's see what happens when I twitch.

I start to twitch just random little mussel spasms that can be ruled away form how tight they are holding me. Nothing happens okay let's add some leg twitches. Again nothing happens and boring guy doesn't even stop his tale to tell me to sit still.

Good now slowly bring up the interval between twitches. Good now make them more violent. Excellent they now have to hold onto me so I don't fall out of the chair. Keep getting more intense that's it now it's time full blown attack. (LOL).

I start convulsing and yank myself out of their hold onto the ground. Here I start thrashing around like a fish in the bottom of a boat. My eyes I force to the back of my head but since I can't make them go all the way back I settle for closing my eyes.

This is a dangerous decision to make I can't see the reaction of the guards are going to be now but I know if they catch on that I am faking the consequences will not be pleasant. I feel them pinning me down on the ground and can sense the confusion in the air. None of them know what to do with me. If only I could smile this is perfect.

"Take her to her cell!" Yelled the leader of the terrorists or as I call him 'the man in the blue cloth mask'. What do you know he can talk in something other then a monotone. Looks like I am not the only actor in this room.

Oh goody let's see who's the better actor. I continue to convulse even as they pick me up and start to carry me out of the room. Back down the halls we go but now that they are concentrating on keeping hold of my convulsing body I can open my eyes and look around (with out moving my head in an obvious direction). Huh huh suckers so I notice other cells Oh you bastards just how many people did you capture besides my family.

Oh my gosh did every last one of those cells just gasp my name. Who the hell did they capture? Finally they make it to 'my' cell and I have to close my eyes again. I can hear many concerned voices this is probably not good. Okay just keep convulsing until the guards leave.

It is hard to hear foot steps retreating when there are so many voices calling out my name. Finally I take a risk it has been like two minutes the guards should be gone right. I stop mid-convulse and ask "are they gone?"

I look up into the widest eyes I have ever seen and they are on every face. I got a couple of friends that can function in a crisis because they looked out the door and yes the guards are gone. They turn back to me and nod. I smile and say "good" as I get up off the ground. Ha take that Hollywood that is pure Oscar performance right there.

VIII Torture Explained

Now I really take a look around to see who the hell is in this place with me. Oh fuck me I know everyone in here. I see all the friends I made in Scotland that I just left. My school friends and my Brownie troop all in all there is twenty-five maybe thirty of us.

Thank god we are small and skinny or it would be hard to breathe in here. Or maybe not as I get a good look at my new 'room' I see stone, stone, stone. And more stone. But it appears to be as big as some of the rooms in my Scotland house.

We have room to stand and move around a little bit we can all sit on the ground without being in each others lap and if we curl together like a pack of wolves we can sleep comfortable at night. I guess you could say it is about the size of a typical family room or a little bigger I suppose. Well it's a good thing I'm used to camping and roughing it because there are no luxuries in this place.

"Oh my God Christy are you ok," a lot of frightened kids asked me in a chocked whisper. It sounded like they hadn't talked in a while weird.

I respond with, "Yea I'm fine I just had to get away form that really boring guy in blue so I faked a seizure. Hey can anyone tell me what is going on? Does anyone know why we are here and what this is all about? And who the hell was that boring guy in all blue?"

Okay this is getting even weirder they are exchanging nervous glances with each other like they want to answer but they are afraid to talk. What the fuck is this place the real life Twilight Zone? What the hell is going on?

Megan my best friend gestures to me and I walk over to her side. She leads me to the middle of the room there we sit on the ground with her sitting by my side and the others start shuffling their feet and moving restlessly as if to cover up any sound that might be heard.

Megan whispers so softly it's like she is exhaling her words into my ear. "Here's what we know. We have been kidnapped by terrorist organization that has a major fascination with snakes." Megan shivers after saying this. "They want information that one or more of our parents possess. They are not against hurting women or children."

Again Megan shivers after saying this. "We don't know what country we are in, how many terrorists there are in this group, or how long they will keep us. But we do know not to piss them off they don't like it." Megan got a weird look in her eye when she said that.

I was starting to get bad vibes from my friends not like they would hurt me but like they had been hurt so bad that they aren't the same as before. It felt like they were broken like their spirit was missing. Usually I'm the only one who acts that way so this is not good.

"Okay Megan that is a big help thanks for telling me." I could see her courage deserting her as she talked and I didn't want to be responsible for putting her in a catatonic coma from fear. So I know a little bit of what is going on but not a lot.

I can wait for more information let's see if I can ease the fear with a change of subject. "So does anyone know what time it is I was blindfolded when they brought me into the building and never got to see where the sun is in the sky?" I got some weird ass expression on their faces from that question.

"Sun…..sky…..time….?" They had blank looks on their faces like I was speaking another language or something. Seriously what the hell is with my friends?

"Alright guys never mind I'll just ask the next guard I see." Oh yea that got a reaction you just saw a room full of kids flinch and have matching looks of sheer terror on their faces. These extreme reactions are really starting to freak me out. "Well I am going to stand up and walk around a bit. I have been sitting way to long and need to stretch my legs." Besides I have a lot to think about and I think I need pacing room to do it. (The pacing thing really does help with thinking I got my best insights while pacing.)

IX The Torture Room

I get up and start walking the perimeter of the room. All my friends just stand in the middle of the room looking at me. This is freaking me out they are acting shy, timid, and afraid of their own shadows. Oh my gosh I just described myself.

That's why this is so strange all of them are the complete opposite of me normally. They should be outgoing, loud and well brave they should not be me. But watching them now I realize I have been corralling them in with my walking if this situation wasn't so Twilight Zone I know I would be laughing.

Wait that's what is missing the laughter…the emotion…the simple joy of being a kid; well I figured out one thing that used to be in their life. Now is it gone for good? Can I find a way to bring them back to normal?

I don't know but I think I am brave enough to try I mean one of me is bad enough but a whole room that's disturbing. (It wasn't just that room it was the whole side of the building now that's fucking Nightmare on Elm Street).

The more I walk the more questions I have and the more strange I feel. I mean it's like I'm acting like them and they are acting like me. We need to fix this role reversal thing and do it fast. But how to change things I just don't know?

In my musings I brush up against the back wall. Huh that's weird it felt like some of the stones stuck out of the wall. Did I imagine that? Next walk around I purposely trailed my hand up and down along the wall. No I didn't imagine that the back wall has protrusions almost like hand and foot holds in the wall. This place is getting even stranger every second that I am here.

So I start to pay more attention to my environment. What I'm used to living in my own world all the time so I'm not the most observant person so shoot me. There are strips of narrowing openings I think they are windows. But only on the back wall I guess we are along the outside of wherever we are at. Well we can tell when it is day or night depending on the shadows in the 'windows' and it looks like it is still day out.

X Length of Stay

"How long have you guys been here anyway?" I ask them stopping mid-pace. They look at me confused as if I was speaking a foreign language or something.

Okay let's take this nice and slow. "Does anyone remember the calendar date when you were taken from your home?" I'm still getting blank faces but I am starting to see a flicker of life in the eyes.

You can see them trying to remember what day it was when they were last free. Good this is promising. "You see I was taken three days after my family so if you remember when my family showed up then that means you were here for at least four days." Let's get some higher brain function going.

Oh, my math teacher is going to be so proud you do use word problems in everyday life who knew. Okay I got some math geniuses in this room and that example started to wake up the math geek in them. I **see life in their eyes** they're not dead men walking yet yea.

While they were thinking about that I started to look on the floor for a pebble or chip of rock. I found one and stay kneeling after I pick it up. I look to my friends as first one then others speak up.

"I arrived at the same time as your parents did we were in the same room and these three were there too." One friend said. I scratched out three lines and look up again.

"I was here for one sleep before your parents and besides you and them (pointing to the last speaker and company) I was the last to arrive." A girl from my Brownie troop said. I scratched out one more line. Then I had a great idea thanks to her.

"Okay everyone try to remember how many **sleeps** you have been here for?" I ask the others who have not yet spoken. That brought a lot of life back.

You see some counting on fingers and some counting silently out loud with their mouths moving. They are looking at each other as they try to figure out who was first here and how many sleeps did they have? Slowly by ones and two's they respond.

Then like a wave upon the shore they seem to sparkle to life and more voices join the brave ones so far until it is discovered who was here first and how long they were here for?

"I've been here for three." One of them tentatively replies.

"I've bee here six." Another responds.

"It's been twelve for us." Says one boy while pointing to two others.

"Flint was here before I was." Said another Brownie scout.

"We were the first one's here. We've been here for twenty days." Michelle finally admitted to me.

I scratched out twenty days and then add one more saying "One more day makes me we now know how long we have been here." It was good to see them with life on their faces again I was starting to worry.

XI Food Crisis

I had a feeling this next question would kill that life but now that I was actively observing I noticed something disturbing about my friends faces. "Hey guys when was the last time you ate anything?"

Oh my gosh their faces went blank! They don't know the last time they ate anything that is not good. How long can someone go without food? Okay so there is not much activity going on in a cell that they would use up a lot of energy for but still even a fat idiot like me knows you need to eat. Oh my gosh how do I get food to them? They need to eat.

"We haven't eaten anything for a while but we get food when someone new shows up. They give us water when we pass out from dehydration but we only receive a few bites of food when they remember to feed us." Megan quietly confessed to me.

"Oh my gosh! You mean that in twenty days you have been given hardly anything to eat?" I ask in an awed incredulous voice.

All I receive for an answer is the shaking of heads in a no gesture. "Okay so since I showed up you should be receiving food today right? I mean how long between the new guy showing up and the guards showing up with food? Are we talking hours or do they show up that evening when is it?" I ask them trying not to let my fear show. What happens if I pissed them off and they take the anger out on these innocent people? (That's a pattern these fucking assholes take up often. Someone pisses them off make everyone suffer. We should have killed more of them when we had the chance.)

"It is usually a matter of hours later that they show up." Scott said hesitantly.

I really need to find out why these guys are afraid to talk. Wait a minute how long have we been talking? "Their late with the food aren't they?" I ask in a somber voice.

Scott and a few others just nod. Shit I knew it they are going to punish them just because I out smarted them. Well fuck them I won't let that happen.

I need to get these people food I just wish I knew how. "Okay does anyone have a guess just how many people have been kidnapped by these assholes?"

I get a room full of wide eyes I don't think any of them have heard me swear in their lives. Actually I was kind of surprised by how many swear words I knew myself. Well I'll repent of the sin of swearing later (quit that eye rolling now all of you I did repent I just kept right on doing it there is a difference you know) right now I think I need the stun factor to bring some life into my friends. I hope I don't get into the habit of swearing. (Whoops I did).

"Our families were taken with us and I recognized some older kids from school with their families." Flint said in a whisper.

"When I was in that room there were families that none of us knew. But they looked like they knew each other so maybe they went to church together." Danielle contributed.

At that remark my face went pale. Why didn't I think of it before all my friends are here from school and outside of school activities why not my church friends too? Shit I bet none of them has been given food either. Oh my gosh what the hell is keeping them from starving to death.

Alright before I can come up with a plan I need to figure out as much information as possible. "How many cells have they separated us into?"

"Several I know there is a cell for us and a separate cell for younger siblings and there is a cell for the adults and the older siblings in another. Those strange families I don't know how they got separated I only know they are not with us?" Scott said to me in a quiet serious voice.

I nod my head to them so they know I understand. I do understand I understand that I need to get out of this cell and go find out for myself how many cells there are and who occupies them.

I understand that I need to find the kitchen and I need to steal enough food for everyone in all the cells. I really hope God understands that my stealing isn't really stealing I'm just trying to provide for my friends and family. But most of all I understand that we need to escape from this place and these people.

XII A Brilliant Plan

I think I freaked my friends out because I started pacing again. You know this pacing to think is starting to become a habit. I should probably stop doing it nah it won't be a noticeable habit anyway. (Nicholas I swear if you don't stop laughing I will punch you. The same threat for the rest of you I can hear you laughing from here).

A plan…a brilliant plan…that is what I need I need to get the guards to enter the cell (so the door will be unlocked) and I need to get away before they realize I am gone. So how the hell do I do that? I honestly don't know.

Hey, wasn't there a scripture in James about asking God for stuff well it's worth a try. After all that's how Joseph Smith started the Church back in the nineteenth century. If God answered him he should answer me too.

So I go to the back wall in the corner and I kneel down to pray. In this prayer I asked God to help me feed all those that the **bad men** had stolen from their homes. I asked for help to get out of this cell so that I can find out who needs my help and I can start to help them. I asked for the strength to endure the consequences that the **bad men** will exact from my leaving the cell. I asked that I might be able to fast for my loved ones that they would become stronger and endure for themselves all the nightmares that this place has in-store for us.

I figured that was a good place to end the prayer and said Amen. I looked up from praying and everyone is staring at me. Well I'd pray in private but it's hard to find private in a dungeon cell. I wasn't trying to force my religion on anyone you know. It's not like I had us all join hands and sing Kumbyya you know I just felt the need to pray.

The looks on their faces brought me to tears. They looked like they hadn't thought to pray in twenty days. It was like they had forgotten how to pray. I was here for less then half an hour and had to pray they were here for twenty days how could they not have prayed once.

"What? Did I pray wrong in your eyes or something? Look I'm sorry if that offended you I just need help with getting some ideas for the future alright. I'll stop the whole kneeling in a corner thing if it offends you okay." I'm getting nervous I didn't want to cause contention amongst us.

I hate fighting I try to avoid it whenever I can (I know I realize the irony don't rub it in). Hell I became a bookworm just to avoid the fights my older siblings would get into.

They used to wonder how I was so very quiet and shy duh ever heard of coping mechanisms. Like I said I don't like conflict. I am a peacemaker not warmonger. Besides it's not like I'll ever be smart enough to learn anything like how to fight and I'm way to fat to be able to fight anyway. Everyone knows I'm just a useless waste of space.

"No it's not that it's just we never thought to pray this place was just to depressing for prayer." They all reassured me. I smile at them and feel a weight lift off my shoulder. I didn't make it worse like I always do I actually did something right.


	3. Chapter XIII thru XVIII

Savior for all, Redeemer for me

**Rating**: M not all parts are M but I don't feel like switching ratings every other chapter so just deal with it.

**Warnings: Language, graphic content, sexual content, blood guts and gore and other stuff like that. If you don't like that sort of thing then what the fuck did you click on this site for.**

**Disclaimer**: People I wrote this story for me. It has been in my head and on going since I was twelve (no I will not tell you how old I am now) and with the inspiration of a D&D group I finally decided to write the damn thing down. However I do need constructive criticism because I may end up losing my friend/proof reader over our discussions on my story. (_She never lets me finish my damn sentences bitch_) Flames are welcome so long as they don't go overboard. Suggestions are very much wanted please share them with me.

Some Characters I made up a lot I barrowed from books, comic books, tv shows and movies. Some Characters are based on real people I know why because I could and I like making them do what I say. I don't own any character from books, comic books, tv shows or movies if I did then I wouldn't need all these damn student loans I need to pay off. I do own the rest so hands off my characters I put a lot of effort into them you know.

If you can guess where the characters come from then you need to get a life man or you will end up just like me (shudder shudder). Anyway on with the story.

XIII The Plan

God gave me the plan and it seems way too simple to work. I mean no disrespect to the Almighty it just sounds like something I would have come up with myself eventually.

I don't know maybe the terrorists are way more stupid then we thought. (They are well were). Let's hope so because the plan consists of me looking out for a patrol of guards and then hiding along the wall beside the door out of sight they see a room of very confused individuals and they enter. I sneak out the door before they turn to close it and plaster myself to the wall then when they start looking for me I book it to the next cell and start looking at who is sharing my fate with me.

Like I said it sounds like something that I would come up with but this is what God told me to do and I'm going to do it.

So I tell the plan to the others and start looking for the guards. Holy shit don't they have guards patrolling these cells. Man no-one is showing up.

Megan is now the bravest girl I have ever met. She starts to yell out in a loud voice. "Oh wow Christy how did you get the door open. Yes escape and find help for the rest of us. No not that way the other way leads to the outside. Hurry I think I hear the guards coming."

Oh hell yeah they were at a run no less. (Apparently they were intelligent enough to know the word 'escape'). I quickly got into position by the door and not a moment to soon. They ran to the door and threw it open.

Hell they didn't even bother to close the damn thing when they yelled out "Where is she?" Well I have snuck out the door and am plastered by the door sneaking down the corridor toward the next cell.

I hear Megan say to them "She's not here you are welcome to look if you don't believe me." Then I heard sounds of them doing just that.

XIV Meet the Neighbors

I didn't know how much time I would have before I was caught. I walked as quickly as I silently could down the hall. I arrive at the next door and look in. Shit they got my American school friends.

"Pssst! Hey you guys okay? Don't worry I'm here now and I will get you guys something to eat soon." I whisper in a carrying voice.

They like my Scottish friends looked shocked and amazed that I was even there let alone speaking. Seriously what is it with the fear of noise thing everyone's got going on?

I like quiet as much as the next girl but hell no oh hell no I am making noise. "It's all right I'll be back to talk more later just don't give me away alright." I say as I move down the hall to the next room. Someone must have OCD because they put us all on the outside wall of cells.

One by one I looked into the cells filled with people to share the experiences of this hellhole with me. Spreading words of comfort and encouragement as I go I see there are a lot of cells filled with people I know.

Two for my school friends, two for church people (they only separated the really young children kids my age or older got to stay with their parents), two for the older kids and one very cramped cell for the younger kids (age range just walking to three years younger than me).

As heart wrenching as that was what really caused me to swear was a cell filled with kids my age or a little older who I had never met before. Those fucking bastards in order to cover their track they stole random ass kids and family around my area of the state (like could have been in my school but went to another instead area).

"Are you kids alright!" I swear we must have stared at each other for at least five minutes. They were just dumbfounded at the sight of me. "Don't worry I won't let you get left behind when the others get free. I will help you!" I vow to this room full of strangers.

"Who are you and how did you get out?" A boy named Drew asked me. He was one of a few guys in the room.

"My name is Christy I just arrived today. The guards left the door open and I just walked out. I am exploring this place first for the kitchen so I can get you guys some food then for possible ways out of here. Just don't betray me to the guards okay. I got to go now keep the faith." I say with a little wave and a mad dash down the hall. I know that time is quickly running out. I have to find the kitchen before I am recaptured.

XV Exploring This Damn Place

God in Heaven! Did they use every stone in the country to build this place. Talk about universal one corridor looks the same as all the others. All the doors look like cell doors all I can smell is damp and moldy stone. All I can see is dark shadows. Seriously haven't these people heard of electricity? It's been around for a while now I'm sure they can get it cheap. I just know I am going to have nightmares of all this damn stone.

Anyway as I feel more than see my way through this damn maze I am praying I can find my way back to the others so I can feed them. Assuming I can find the kitchen. 'Shit guards up ahead!' I press myself against the wall and stay silent I mean I barely breathe. 'Damnit they are coming this way! Don't spot me, don't spot me, don't spot me. Pheww they passed by with out noticing me.'

As I continue to slink down the corridor I can't help but think of a time back home. I can disappear if I only stay silent. My family forgets I am in the room and I can learn all their deep dark secrets at least until I start laughing anyway. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to discover that the same thing appears to hold true with these bad men too. Awesome something is going my way. (DID YOU SEE ALL THE PLANS I MADE SINCE I ARRIVED RICHARD? I DO KNOW HOW TO PLAN WOULD YOU QUIT SAYING I DON'T.)

'Holy shit! That's a lot of voices!' I think I just discovered the cafeteria for the guards. Wait a minute that's a good thing. No one has a dining room on the other side of the house from the kitchen.

I'm close to my destination alright. 'Oh hell the door to the cafeteria is open. Time to put my shadow skill to the test.' I creep even slower sliding my feet forward afraid that if I pick up my foot someone inside will hear the footstep and catch me.

I am at the door and even though I was breathing so quietly I might as well have been holding my breath I decide not to take chances and I hold my breath. Moment of truth I am at the door. 'Please don't let anyone be looking at the door.' I peek around the door looks it like my prayer was answered and I dash across the doorway to the other side.

I stop to listen no one is running toward the door I wasn't spotted. Slowly and carefully I let out my breath and keep going down the corridor.

XVI I've Got Food

Finally I found the kitchen and with a stroke of divine luck the thing is empty. Man this is a huge kitchen. Okay look for the pantry I need food that won't spoil. Ah ha found it damn it's bigger then a walk in closet.

It's roughly the size of one level in my house. The shelves are floor to ceiling and they are stocked full of food. Okay need to think smart about this can't do cans cause they are to heavy and wont' fit through the bars on the door. So I'll need crackers and other stuff that can be removed from their boxes and passed through the door or won't be missed.

I get to the right 'section' in the pantry and see the strangest site. There on the floor is a messenger bag (oh how I love that bag) only a little bigger you know that one shoulder bag thing that some college students use to put their books in.

It was green like army camouflage green and it held a lot of food. I loaded up on food that hopefully won't be missed and noticed that one of the boxes was already opened and crushed.

So I grabbed a few quick bites out of the container knowing if I didn't grab it now I wouldn't have the heart to eat it later knowing that my friends had been days with out any food. I start trying to find my way back with a bursting bag of food slung around to be behind me as I go.

I start my journey and it takes a hell of a long time to make it back to the others. The alarm is definitely raised and it is stop and go the whole way back. Wow I have perfected this shadow power of mine. The guards have walked by so closely that their uniform brushed up against me but I was never caught and they never even looked down or around when it happened.

At long last I find the corridor that the others are at and start to distribute the food. I know that by talking I 'negate' the shadow effect but I need to know more about these people who have been kidnapped just like me.

When I hand over their share of the food I tell them to make it last for as long as possible. You should have seen the expression on their faces. It was the look of awe that they were being fed combined with the incredulous look of 'I'm supposed to make this last.' Maybe if I was given just a little more but I only got like two boxes of food for twelve people look.

So I watch as they nibble their portion of food item and pass out the allotted food to the next person. It reminds me of that scene in the book Twenty and Ten with the sharing of the chocolate. I swear that is what I was looking at only not with chocolate. Is it just me or does this whole thing just scream holocaust.

Slowly one cell at a time I go and as I watch them eat their first food in three days I count the people. In the end there are four hundred and twenty-one of us including myself. When I get to 'my' cell I passed the bag with the food through and told them to hide the bag and make the food last just like I did for all the others. I know what I have to do. I have to cover up the fact that this escape attempt was merely to bring food to the others.

"I am going to try to get out of here and get us some help. Make the food last as long as you can when I'm gone okay. Keep quiet and don't let them see you eat or the food you are saving for later." Then I head down the corridor opposite of the direction I just came from.

I am not nearly as stealthy this time. I half want them to find me so that I can bring more life into the eyes of the others and get more food into them as well. But if I escape then I can get help and they can get out of the cells at long last which will bring light and life into their eyes again. Either option is a good thing right now so I walk down the center of the corridor instead of slink along the wall.

I made it as far as seeing the door that leads to the outside before I was captured again. Well I know where it is now and I can be quicker next time because I know the way instead of looking for it. The guards grab my hands and drag me into a room that is near where my cell is located. I got my first taste of the torture that would be a part of my life for what it seemed long time to come.

XVII Torture

They had goddamn shackles on the wall and they hung me up like I was a piece of meat facing the stone wall. Let me tell you they did not hold back any strength because I was a kid. Hell I think they purposely used all their strength against me because I was a kid. Maybe they hoped that I wouldn't try to escape again if I knew how painful it would be. It didn't work.

The punishment for escape attempt was whipping. They used a bullwhip on me. That fucking hurts you know. It was a total of ten lashes and I felt every single one of them. The strangest part is I didn't pass out from the pain. In fact it felt like I got stronger with every blow I got.

After the ten lashes they unlocked the shackles that were holding me and took me back to the cell I get to call home. None of my friends were all that surprised to see me. But they were shocked as hell to see me conscious and walking under my own power down the hall. I think I just saw a bit more life in those shocked expressions.

I wait for the guards to leave and ask,"so how's the food taste?" They look at me as if I am an alien from another planet and their mouths open and close like they want to answer but no words can come out.

I smile at them and say "well that was an interesting experience. How many of you have been whipped?" I see looks of pain in their eyes and a couple of them actually flinch. So they have been hurt some how I just don't know if they have been whipped. I need help with this one I got to take away that pain and bring them back to life. There is only one person I know who has that kind of power. (No Richard I wasn't talking about you; or your men; and I sure as Hell wasn't talking about you Demos!)

XVIII The Habit of Prayer

I go back to **my** corner and I kneel down to pray. I don't know how long I ended up praying but I sure had a lot to say. I started out thanking him for the answer to the last prayer. I thanked him for the strength to survive the whipping. I thanked him for keeping my friends and all these innocent people alive before I got here. Then I got down to the heart of the matter. I told him my concerns for my friends (and the others by extension) and the pain and suffering that they had endured so far. I asked what I could do to bring them back to the happy children (or people) they once were. I asked how I could bring them back to life. I asked if the guards focus could be on me as much as possible to spare my friends and the others even more pain. I asked him to use me as a tool to protect these people from the evil men. I asked for strength and for any other gift I would need in order to serve him and these innocent people. Then I ended my prayer with an Amen and rose to my feet.

As I expected all my friends just stood their staring you know this is ridiculous. If they crave prayer that much why don't they just pray to their own God. "You know you can pray to any time you want too." I tell them with conviction in my voice.

You would think I was speaking a foreign language. "When was the last time any of you prayed?" I ask trying to get a response from them. All I get is blank stares. Merciful God in Heaven it's been that long since they prayed!

Okay I might be stepping dangerously close to a line I shouldn't cross but this has to end. "You know next time I pray you can pray with me. Even if it is not coherent words you use but emotions I'm sure your God would here you. Maybe with your help my God would answer my prayers even faster. Will you try?" I look at them with pleading eyes.

I know I feel better after I pray and if I can do nothing else I want them to feel better. My smile could have lit up the entire continent of North America when I got tentative nods from my friends.

It's a start believe it or not a big start. That tentative nod unleashed a tidal wave that would get us through all the torture and the nightmare of this place. By the time we won our freedom my friends had proof that their God loves them.


	4. Chapter XIX thru XXIV

Savior for all, Redeemer for me

**Rating**: M not all parts are M but I don't feel like switching ratings every other chapter so just deal with it.

**Warnings: Language, graphic content, sexual content, blood guts and gore and other stuff like that. If you don't like that sort of thing then what the fuck did you click on this site for.**

**Disclaimer**: People I wrote this story for me. It has been in my head and on going since I was twelve (no I will not tell you how old I am now) and with the inspiration of a D&D group I finally decided to write the damn thing down. However I do need constructive criticism because I may end up losing my friend/proof reader over our discussions on my story. (_She never lets me finish my damn sentences bitch_) Flames are welcome so long as they don't go overboard. Suggestions are very much wanted please share them with me.

Some Characters I made up a lot I barrowed from books, comic books, tv shows and movies. Some Characters are based on real people I know why because I could and I like making them do what I say. I don't own any character from books, comic books, tv shows or movies if I did then I wouldn't need all these damn student loans I need to pay off. I do own the rest so hands off my characters I put a lot of effort into them you know.

If you can guess where the characters come from then you need to get a life man or you will end up just like me (shudder shudder). Anyway on with the story.

XIX The Answer To My Prayer

Wow I didn't know that God's way of protecting them from torture was to torture them in another way. Seriously God has to be tone deaf to come up with this one. He put the thought into my head that I should sing songs that would uplift and comfort my friends. The type of songs that would raise the spirits of my friends and bring hope and life back into their eyes God left that up to me.

Well I come from a long line of stubborn SOBs so my ideas of bringing hope back into their lives would probably be different from some one else like Helaman's army (an old church story). I chose every marching tune (the melody could be marched to), soldier song, and defying song that I could think of (and I think God helped me think of them once he saw the direction I was taking) and I started to sing.

I got a reaction right away from them. A look of sheer terror and fear was in all their eyes. A good third of them started moaning in sheer dread.

Humm I think I am about to find out why they were afraid to make a sound before. 'Oh goodie this is going to be fun.' Whoa did that just come from my mind? Where are all these thoughts coming from anyway? They can't come from me I'm a coward who is afraid of her own shadow.

Anyway I am belting out these songs facing the door. Why face the door so that everyone else in a cell not mine can hear them too. I made it through about three songs before I heard the sound of pounding feet coming up the corridor. Oh look guess they found me took them long enough.

XX Two Punishments in One Day and a Surprise

There were two guards coming up the hall. Hmf it takes two grown men to shut one little girl up how pathetic. I don't stop singing and the others are cowering in the background. They know what's coming but they lost what little courage they found when the guards showed up. One day that will change.

The guards slam open the door again they don't bother to close the damn thing the arrogant little puppies. They march over with a glare in their eyes and a scowl on their faces.

"Shut the fuck up you little bitch!" The mouth piece of the two said.

I stare them in the eyes and keep right on singing. The other guard apparently was the brawn he cocked his fist back and let it fly full force into my face. Damn I was seeing stars of course I'm not sure if that was from flying backwards into the brick wall or the actual blow. Amazingly my singing didn't even pause in fact I started to sing louder in retaliation of the blow.

That was the pattern that emerged he beats I sing louder. He used fist and feet the jerkwad actually kicked me when I was down. Hello hasn't he ever heard the saying never kick someone when they are down. But no matter where he hit and believe me he hit me so hard in the stomach my spine almost popped out in back I still kept singing.

They became too exhausted to continue and they left without getting me to shut up. Ha in your face assholes God gave me strength to defeat you. I sat on the floor why…because I wasn't sure if I could get up yet or not and just kept singing.

I sang until my voice turned horse then **I decided** to stop singing. I looked over at my friends and smiled through my bleeding lips (duh you think they didn't hit me in the mouth to try and shut me up). My friends had a look of awe and just astonishment on their faces.

"How are you still alive?" Megan asked me. I just shrug in answer since I want to save my voice so I can sing later. That's right you pricks you haven't heard the last of my singing voice (raspberries).

"Seriously that beating should have killed you he wasn't holding back. He totally lost control." Scott said to me with a furrowed brow. I saw this as an opportunity to put my plan into action.

"I have a guess but you wouldn't believe me even if I told you." My voice surprisingly strong once more while the others look at me like I'm not human (oh if they only knew).

"Tell us anyway." Danielle stated with the others nodding in agreement.

I smile again at them and decided to answer them. "I prayed and He answered." Again with the blank looks did their parents even bother to give them a religion?

I stand up and their eyes get huge I should be crippled hell I should be unconscious or even dead right now but I wasn't. "Can you explain any other way I can do this?" I ask as I start to walk and they see I don't even limp.

"No" they all breathe out the answer as they just look on with astonishment and is that fear I see. Oh my gosh they are afraid of me.

"Guys I prayed for this and He answered me. You aren't afraid of God are you? This is his miracle nothing more and certainly nothing evil. Everything I do I am doing for you please don't be afraid of me. You know me I haven't changed since we last met it's just me still." I plead to them with my eyes welling up with tears.

I don't want them to be afraid of me. I am a little weirded out by all this too but I know it comes from God.

"Christy please don't cry we didn't mean it. It's just that God never did that for us before or anyone else we met either." Several of my friends beg me.

I can see their distress on their faces and the stance of their bodies. Oh great now I have upset them my gosh Christy you are such a fucking moron. I mean how stupid can you get thinking you could be of any help to these people. You are just a fat useless waste of space and that's all you ever will be.

Seriously how could God ever see anything worth salvaging in you you're such a pathetic coward and a weak fool. (Yet you wonder why I refuse to go back to old me? I don't want to be useless ever again.)

Still God must feel pity for fools because he did answer my prayer. "How do you know he wouldn't do that for you too did you ever ask him?" I ask them in a gentle voice. All I got was a room full of heads shaking no at me.

XXI A Discussion on Our Religion

"So who is this God you are afraid to talk to?" I ask them in a quiet voice. The looks I got were almost comical. They did an honest to god double take and then they just stared at me like I was crazy. (not yet but soon)

"We're not afraid of our God." They say to me looking around at each other like they are asking one another 'is anyone afraid of God?' I give them a look that says so clearly 'really you are not afraid?'

"Yeah we're faithful so we don't need to be afraid of Him." They answer back.

I smile at them and ask "so what God were you taught to pray to?" Silently adding on 'you know the one that you refuse to pray to.' My friends so did not need to hear that part.

"Well I'm Christian." Said Megan.

I nod and ask "how many of you are Christians?" Nearly all hands are raised but surprisingly there are some of my friends that did not raise their hands.

"What religion are you guys then?" I ask my remaining friends.

"We're Jewish" they answer me.

"Really I thought you were Christian." I say with amazement in my voice.

"No we have always been Jewish." They respond.

I have this huge grin on my face and say "I know Jewish people that is so cool." I got everyone in the room to smile at that.

"So we got the Jewish God and the Christian God that we are praying to. That's just awesome." I say with a smile still on my face.

Okay God I've got a plan forming for how I can boost their spirits and give them the strength they will need to endure for when I manage to escape this place. It's gonna take several days if not weeks to set up but in the long run it just might save their lives.

XXII The Fucking Dreams are Still Going on

I guess now would be as good a time as any to mention that those nightmares that ended up not being nightmares are still continuing. (Still are to this day. I miss dreaming I don't get to do it anymore.)

For the three days I was alone I dreamed and they were intense dreams too. It was like I was looking through the eyes of the people in my dreams. I could feel every emotion and physical hardship that they endured as if I was the one to go through it.

I heard every thought even the ones so deep down you don't even realize that you were thinking it like it was out loud or something. I experienced every sense that this person experience in my dream. It was like I possessed them or something I knew I wasn't them but I was them too.

The first night that I was there I dreamed about terror, horror, and hissing. I dreamed of snakes a lot of snakes and I dreamed that I was scrambling up a hard surface to a somewhat safe place. I dreamed of screaming so intense I woke up with a hoarse voice. Yet surprisingly I didn't actually scream out loud that time. It's sort of a fifty-fifty chance that I will or won't 'talk' or scream in my sleep.

Seriously most girls my age are dreaming of being a princess and having a knight on a white stead rescuing them and taking them to their castle.

I get to dream of violent psychopaths on the rampage. Why can't I be normal what the hell is wrong with me? It's only gotten worse with age for now a days I see this shit every waking and sleeping moment. We are talking 24/7, 365 days a year. I had to learn how to half pay attention to the world in front of me and half pay attention to the nightmarish images that my mind is just hell bent to show me. (God what am I still doing wrong that you keep showing me this shit. Make it stop please.)

I am sure this gift has a purpose in my life but it fucking sucks and there are days more and more often where I really hate this damn thing.

If you want details on all the dreams and other shit I went through including the minuet details of everything that happened in my life then you will just have to go to that huge ass trunk where all my travel journals are kept. One per mission and keep them in order please. This is a compilation of my life for my children and anyone who manages to read this fucking thing and gives a shit about it.

Before you ask yes I saw all of you reading it like two years ago that's why I started writing it. I didn't get to see your reactions and God wouldn't let me hear your thoughts but even He couldn't keep all your emotions from leaking through. I know that this work will affect you I just never did get to see how. Well I hope you will tell me. (But you won't you never admit to anything like emotions unless it is ridicule of anything I do.)

XXIII Holy Shit do They Really Call this Exercise

So after a somewhat rest full night curled into each other like a damn wolf pack we are beaten awake by the guards. As soon as they leave my friends let me know that this is a regular occurrence and that sleep deprivation seems to be the guard's favorite sport where we are concerned.

Hmm no food no sleep and regular beatings oh if only murder was not a sin. 'Hey God could you make an exception in this case these men really need to die.' Yeeaahh God never gave me the go ahead so I'm guessing not. (More likely he knew twelve individuals who had already staked a claim and was going to let them have their fun).

Anyway about early afternoon I notice my friends getting really anxious. I look at them with a 'what' expression on my face.

Megan says with a dead voice "it's almost time to exercise."

I look confused and ask her "what do you mean exercise? I didn't think they let any of you out of the cell."

If anything her voice sound even worse when she answers "they don't." Before I can ask more I hear the sound of guards feet and sounds I could only imagine until it was my turn.

The guards stopped at each cell where 'my people' are being held. There they would wait at the door and blow a whistle after some time. Then they would move on to the next cell and repeat the process. Finally it was my cells turn.

My friends have backed up as far away from the door as possible with a look of terror on their faces. I stood confused in the middle of the room looking at the door and at my friends and back again.

The guards come forward to the door and they have a huge we are talking Santa Claus size sack with them. There are sounds that are coming from the bag. 'Is that hissing I hear? What is making that rattling sound?' I don't have long to wonder as the guards pour the contents of the bag into the room.

I learned why the back wall had 'foot holds' in it that day. For with a scream my friends make a mad dash up the wall with the fastest ones going all the way to the top so that there is room for everyone. I stand frozen in horror.

Out pours at least thirty snakes of various species. I don't know how they trained them to get along because in the wild I'm pretty sure some of them eat each other. I would later learn that the one thing they have in common is that they are highly venomous snakes. As in don't dare get bitten by them poisonous snakes.

I am frozen in shock as I watch these things slither toward me with amazing speed. I guess that by the time they get to my cell they are really pissed off and want to bite something.

I am literally a standing duck and I must look pretty damn tempting to them. Anyway they are almost upon me when my brain seems to understand my friends screaming in the background to move and actually make my feet move.

I back up still facing the snakes. I walk backwards as fast as I can. The snakes if possible I swear are getting faster. My friends at the bottom are reaching out to me with one hand. As soon as I am close enough they grab onto me and haul me up the wall to be beside them.

The snakes were just out of bite range at that time. The guards blew a whistle and the snakes turned around and headed back to the sack that the guards held.

These damn things were trained. How you even train them I don't know but 'holy shit what the fuck was that.' As soon as the guards leave with the snakes my friends let me down and slowly climb down themselves.

"What the hell was that?" I ask with a shake in my voice.

"Exercise" Megan answers.

They exercise us every day. In the exact same way as I witnessed on my second day of captivity.

XXIV The Watch is Formed

After several days of being beaten awake by the guards I realize that this is annoying and it has to stop. So I came up with a plan. There are enough of us that we can take turns staying up and keeping watch for the guards. I am using my cell as the test subjects and if it works I will spread the word to the others and they can start doing the same thing.

When I told them what I wanted to try and do several of them smacked their foreheads. "Oh my God why didn't I think of that before" many more commented.

I smile to see so much enthusiasm for my idea and ask sweetly "so we are going to try this?"

"YES WE ARE" they answer back in a glad cheer.

"Okay so who wants to go first?" I ask them.

They look around at each other and then several hands tentatively rise up into the air.

"Thanks guys. Okay you stay awake when the rest of us fall asleep." I say pointing to one volunteer then I point to each in turn "you are after him then you then you." I say until all know when it is their turn to watch for the guards.

That night we try it. It appeared to go well but we still got beaten awake. Okay it's a new experience maybe someone wasn't paying attention at the wrong moment or they were drifting and didn't jerk back awake in time. "Don't be discouraged let's try it again with different people." I say to them. So we pick new volunteers and try again.

Three days later we are still being beaten awake. This is confusing since there are five to seven of us that are on watch at a time. So I sit us down and I ask everyone. "Tell me what goes on in the watch since it is my turn tonight."

"Well it starts out fine. I stay awake until I feel I can't keep my eyes open anymore then I go to wake up the next person."

"Do they wake up?" I ask them.

"Yeah they wake up and I go to sleep."

"Okay so then what happens next?" I turn to the 'second' people on watch and ask them.

"The same thing we stay awake until we feel we can't stay awake any longer then we wake up the next person. It takes a little while for them to wake up but then we go to sleep."

I turn to the third people on watch for their stories. "The same thing only it takes a long moment for the other person to wake up so we can sleep." I just nod my head then turn to the fourth person on watch.

"The same thing only we can't get the other person to wake up at all. So we try to finish the night ourselves only we can't. We fall asleep and the next thing we know we are being beaten awake along with everyone else."

"Thanks guys that helps a lot. I have a plan I want to try now that it's my turn. Don't worry if it works then you won't be beaten awake ever again." I tell them with confidence in my voice.

Then as is my routine I go to the corner and pray. I tell God what I want to do and then ask him to help me achieve it. I ask for the gift of light sleeping that I might be able to help my friends better. (he he he be careful what you pray for people you might just get it)


	5. Chapter XXV thru XXX

XXV The Plan in Action

That night I was the first on watch and all the ones that didn't wake up from previous nights were to be my replacements. That seemed fair to everyone and gave the 'sleepers' a chance to redeem themselves.

I was wide awake and kept watch until I got sleepy. That was the pattern that the others started and I saw no reason to disrupt it.

As the night grew on I never got tired. Later it gets and still I don't feel the need for sleep. The whole night I keep watch because I never felt tired. "GUARD GUARD EVERYBODY UP GUARD IS COMING WAKE UP GUARD GUARD GUARD!" I shout at the top of my lungs.

I scare the crap out of them and they jump like three feet in the air from a lying down position. But they were not beaten awake that day.

The guards frown but make no big deal of it. They figure it is a fluke and let it slide. Once the guards disappear the rest of the cell turn to those who were on the watch schedule with me and demand "who woke Christy up she was first person she shouldn't have to watch twice."

Well they look at each other and confess "but I was never woken up last night to take my turn." Then all of them look incredulous as they realize they spoke the same words in unison.

That incredulous stare then turns to me and I just have to smile. "I didn't feel tired so I saw no reason to wake you up last night. Tell you what we will take the watch again tonight and when I get tired I'll wake you up then okay."

I got nods of agreement and then continued on with the rest of our day. That night I stood watch first again. I didn't feel tired all that night either.

I realize that this was the answer to my prayer and I smile as I watch my friends sleep all through the night. "GUARD GUARD EVERYBODY UP WAKE UP GUARD IS COMING GUARD GUARD GURAD!" I shout and again they wake with a start but this time they only sit up and not leave the ground.

The guards frown deeper and mutter to themselves but again they don't make a big deal of it. Once the guards leave my watch friends ask "why didn't you wake me up for my turn?" Their eyes pop open wide when they realize that they spoke the same words at the same time.

"I didn't feel sleepy so I let you sleep. Don't worry you can be on watch again tonight and when I get tired I'll wake you up." Again nods of agreement from them but it is a reluctant nod as if they are putting two and two together and not really sure if they like the answer.

It is now the third night that I am on watch. I take first shift and the others sleep. I take this time to pray out loud in a whisper to God. I pray for my friends by name I pray for my family by name and I pray for all the others by description since I don't know all their names yet. That prayer took a good chunk of the night and none of my friends woke up.

By the time morning came I was feeling tired but not enough to wake someone up. Again with a shout I woke everyone up before the guards could get to them. The guards were not pleased and proceeded to beat the shit out of me. I waited until they left before I started to laugh.

The others looked at me like I had gone off the deep end. I got that look a lot while we were captured. "What the hell is so funny Christy?" Scott asks me and the others nod their heads in agreement.

"They only beat the person who sounds the alarm." I say still chuckling. Their eyes got huge as that thought sinks in. 'Everyone to just one beaten in the morning.' I smile and nod yes my plan is working.

That day I steal food and notice that my steps are lagging. It takes twice as long for me to get the food and return. I swear it took longer then even the first day when I had to find the kitchen first.

Oh well I volunteer to take watch again that night (I'm a glutton for punishment what can I say) my friends flat out refuse. The sleepers from the previous three nights say "it's our turn and we're taking it."

I had just established the pattern at least in theory that we would abide by. I would give them three nights of uninterrupted sleep and they would give me three nights to recover.

That night which should have been day one of recovery the theory was shown to have holes in it. I would wake up every time the watch was changed. I kept my eyes closed so that they wouldn't know that I was awake and I listened to them. If the person got up then I went back to sleep.

Then it happened the watch relief that would not wake up. When that happened I woke up and took over the watch. What they didn't know is that I would take over the watch for the next three days. So except for that little cat nap on the fourth day I stayed awake for many a night.

I was so damn exhausted by the sixth day that they wouldn't let me go for food alone. Megan or sometimes Scott would come with me. Then they would try to escape with me just so I would be able to move at any sort of speed.

The guards surprisingly didn't whip them when we were caught. Instead they would whip me their share but force them to watch to whole thing. It's actually worse to see the pain 'you' caused inflicted on others then to endure it yourself. Those fucking bastards may they rot in hell.

XXVI The Routine

So my life formed a pattern in those days. I would escape every three to four days and get food for the others. I would take the time to talk to all the others as that is the only way to exchange ideas and new plan of 'attack' to the rest of us not just those I share a cell with.

Every day we mark the day but it wasn't too long before my friends noticed a pattern with the days.

"Christy why don't you eat. I notice that you bring back food but I don't remember seeing you actually eat anything?" Michelle asks me and several heads turn in our direction.

"I grab a little bite of something while I am gathering food." I reply to her.

"Well next time you go to get food bring your little bite of something with you I want to see you eat it." Flint told me.

"Okay I will." I tell them.

Later on that same day my friends noticed another pattern emerging. "What are you doing Christy? What are you singing?" several of my friends asked me one day about three weeks into the torture.

"I'm keeping the Sabbath Day holy like I was taught. So since I can't have normal church service I choose to sing the hymns that I remember. Do you have any favorite hymns? If you teach it to me I'll sing it next week." I look up to them where I am kneeling on the floor quietly singing my favorite hymns and doing a lot of praying.

Well to me annoying the guards is work and you aren't supposed to work on the Sabbath so I was doing everything I could not to annoy them.

They looked at me like I was from the planet Pluto. "Huh but today's not Sunday?"

"You mean Saturday don't you?"

"No Sunday is the Sabbath day it's the seventh day in the week."

"What are you crazy just look at the calendar Sunday is the first day in the week Saturday is the seventh so that is the Sabbath day." My friends were arguing back and forth I really shouldn't have been pleased but I sure was.

"So does everyone agree that the **seventh day** in the week is the Sabbath day?" I ask them raising my voice to be heard over the argument that is just moments away from getting ugly.

They just look at me like I'm crazy again and nod their heads several of them saying "yeah that's right."

I smile at them and point to where I keep track of the days. They look at it and realize that today is a 'seventh' day. "I believe that the seventh day is holy too that is why every seventh day that I am here I call it the Sabbath day and worship my God as best I can. You are welcome to join me I'm sure your God must really be lonely having so many of his children not talking to him."

I just want them to think at this point I am almost ready for my plan to take place. I don't want to do this too soon I want to make sure they are ready to hear what I have to say first. God I am such a coward I can't always blame it on shyness.

XXVII The Purpose of My Example

Over the course of several days I feel them out. I know that they need to rely on someone to give them strength to rebel and to endure. It's great that they want to see me as a symbol to believe in but what happens when I succeed and escape. Who will they rely on then? I want to awaken their knowledge in their God so that they can rely on Him when I am gone.

I start small I ask my friends one by one if they would pray for all of us that night. I would say a prayer that would name all of us later before I would go to bed and they knew that but still I never had any of them tell me no.

I guess maybe they thought they owed me. They kind of freaked out when they saw how much I would eat. As promised (and I never go back on my word) I brought my little bite of food and ate it in front of them.

"What the fucking hell is that supposed to be Christy? We eat half a granola bar or even half a piece of fruit and **you feast **on two goddamn little miny bites. Eat your share damnit." Michelle yelled at me as she slapped me across the face.

"You can safely eat half a granola bar we have enough food in storage for two days. By two days I mean eating two granola bars a day." She added in her rant.

In fact she was so loud I was afraid the guards would hear her. "I stop eating when I am full and this fills me up. Now lower your voice or it is going to be near fucking hell to get more food for you next time." I tell her in a soft but scolding voice.

They looked at me like I had an eating disorder or something. I didn't like that look so I added "besides I have more…..(pause to look at my size large to x-large body) energy to burn off then you do. I guess another way to look at it is that you guys have a high metabolism and I don't so I need to watch what I eat." I tell them they still glower but remain silent as they too look at my body and just shake their heads.

Like I said earlier they decided to pray after they saw how much I eat. We all learned through that experience who were the Catholics, Protestants, Baptists, etc. It was nice to know so I could bring out more religious discussions later on.

I know it was total manipulation of my friends but damnit they needed it. Later on in life I was quiet impressed I could be that fucking manipulative.

The next seventh day I had several of my friends ask me if they could sing their favorite hymns. Seriously like I was going to tell them no or something yeah right this is so my plan bearing fruit. By the next Sabbath I had everyone in the cell paying attention to us sing. We would take turns singing our faiths hymns but also praying as we were taught to by our faith.

Time for phase two of my 'master' plan you know my friends will totally stab me if they ever read this. I innocently ask my friends "I miss hearing the scriptures don't you?" I really love dropping bombs on my friends I don't know why. But I got a favorable reaction from them.

They too wanted to bring in the scriptures but the argument occurred in deciding what was considered scripture. After all the Jews didn't believe in Jesus Christ and I was not alienating anyone that would ruin my plan you know.

I end this argument faster than the whole Sabbath discussion. I turn to the Christians and I say "do you believe in Adam, Noah, Abraham, and all the other Old Testament Prophets?"

They nod their heads yes. So I turn to my Jewish friends and ask them "do you believe in Adam, Noah, Abraham, and all the other Old Testament Prophets?" They nod their heads yes also.

"Then that is the scriptures we will discuss on Sabbath days since we all agree that we believe their words to be true. Goodness knows that there is enough material to last a long time. If there is anyone with a problem with strengthening each other instead of tearing each others faith down I don't fucking care keep it to your own damn self." I told the others.

They flinched like 'who is this girl. She looks like Christy but she doesn't sound like the Christy I know. Yet none said anything about not wanting to strengthen each other. In fact once they thought about it they nodded their heads.

That is how we slowly began to strengthen each other and there were no more arguments in the cell. I never mentioned to them my own faith for one very good reason. Every religion on this planet has been flat out taught to destroy mine. I could unite every single one of them against me that won't help them in the long run.

XXVIII We Need a Savior

We have now been here two full months when one of my friends made a life altering statement. "You know we could sure use a savior right now." One friend stated.

"I though that you Christians believed in a Savior that's why your not Jews yourselves isn't it?" one Jewish friend asked.

"We do but that's not the type of savior I was talking about. I was talking about the type of savior that would come to this God awful place and save us from these people." Was the reply.

Several friends nodded their heads as they clued into what was being said in total agreement. Now that's a thought someone mortal or at least on this plane of existence to come and save us from these guys. I could definitely go for that I liked the idea of passing the responsibility on to one person (oh shut the fuck up all of you).

A thought entered my mind why not ask for a savior. Huh ask for a savior but how will a savior I find be acceptable to all the Christians and Jews here with me. The answer came to me pray together. Oh My Gosh that's it if we pray together then whoever gets the answer all will accept it.

"Okay I have an idea but first I need to make a 'food' run so I can tell the others about it too. Give me a few days and we put it in motion alright." I say to them.

They look curious and a little disappointed that they don't get to find out about it yet but they do agree to my request.

My plan was simple have everyone pray at the same time in every cell. We never tried anything like this before but I knew it had to be this way for everyone to accept the 'savior' for us all (again shut up everybody).

I go on my next food run and spread the plan. Everyone's eyes light up when they hear the quick recap of the conversation that inspired my plan. They all agree and I say in three hours start praying.

In those three hours I got the food; got punished; and told the plan to my cell mates all with time to spare. Damn I'm good. The time has come and we all pray to 'our gods'.

A remarkable and truly terrifying thing happened. All the people regardless of religion got the same answer. One person's name that shocked me so much I had everyone pray over and over again a total of ten times in a row we prayed. Every time we got the same name the name of our savior.

I was going to have them pray yet again when Megan in shear exasperation said, "look Christy we could pray until we are twenty and have one foot in the grave (shit I swear I just heard all of you groan) and it would still be the same answer." Hey for the record we were nine twenty is ancient when you are nine.

Why did I have such a hard time accepting the answer 'our gods' gave us that day? Simple you would find it impossible to accept too if you knew anything about the person behind the name.

That person is shy to the point of non-entity, timid, fearful of everything and everyone most especially anyone she knows, a coward very definitely the opposite of brave, brainless stupid un-intelligent moron who by the grace of god alone manages to pass all classes and move to the next grade, few friends, uncomfortable in their own skin, uncomfortable in crowds, hates being the center of attention cause this person is that fucking shy, a spineless doormat with no life and no thought of their own, never stands up for their self or anything that they believe in, did I mention afraid of their own shadow.

This person is and always will be the most worthless waste of human potential and waste of an existence that ever lived.

That is the person that god chose to be the savior of us all. A fat, lazy, stupid, weak in will, weak in strength, weak in everything, worthless excuse for a human to save us all. Yes folks the name that god uttered to all our minds every time we asked that day was mine.

XXIX Oh Look a New Cell

The guards got sick and tired of me always 'trying' to escape so they moved me to my American friends' cell. I guess they thought they would be the better influence.

I would just like to take this time to say "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha" that's a joke.

We are Americans we are taught that to rebel is our god given right (sorry Brit friends but it's so true) I mean how the hell else did we get our country formed (and don't you Brits say shear damn luck we already know that).

So I am now in a cell with Nick my first crush and total love life fantasy. Seriously he is so yummy 'God if only he would see that I exist'. (God does answer prayers yeah me).

I think my eyes are deceiving me because they are showing his eyes as having a whole hell of a lot of life in them. No one else's eyes have that much life in them how do his eyes glow.

I never refused a request that my friends made of me (and I never will) so when my 'American' friends asked me to try to escape again I did with out hesitation.

Now every time I got out of the cell I would make a food run. That ended up being a good thing later on as it gave a food supply they could survive on when I finally succeeded in escaping.

They had very little patience in that cell since they asked everyday for me to escape. My friends really wanted to get home (not that I could ever blame them for that) and even though I was still being punished every time I would escape it was worth the blood loss just to see the spark of life in their eyes as they ask me to try again.

This was where Nick's role was formed. He volunteered to be a look out for the guards and try to give me a heads up when they were on to me and actively sought to capture me again.

A lot of people in later years would belittle him for not escaping with me that he was a coward for not even trying. You people can kiss my ass you mother fuckers. You don't know the first thing about bravery. You think it cowardly to risk being beaten to death from an enraged guard while stuck in a cell **WHERE THERE IS NO PLACE TO RUN AND NOWHERE TO HIDE **if that is cowardice then I say may we all be cowards like Nicholas.

Anyway this went on for about a month but I noticed something about my punishments. They would increase the number of strokes that they would whip me in fact it would double and then even more strength would be placed in each stroke. In fact several guards would be involved just so that each stroke would be at full strength.

With all that going on people would think so why would you willingly escape everyday when you knew what was coming? Why risk the pain and blood loss for what…seeing the same corridor?

That's easy to answer to the first it is because they asked me to and they needed me to do so. The second I never felt the pain of any blow not the whip no matter how hard they would strike me with it; nor the fist/foot when they would come into the cell to beat me I never felt the pain never registered the blow.

I never made a sound which for some reason really pissed off the guards they wanted to hear me scream but I wouldn't so much as gasp I was completely quiet.

XXX Shut Those Damn Kids Up

While all this was going on another change was taking place with the young ones. I guess it was because they saw me so often they started calling out for their parents and older siblings more often then before I came there. They would cry all the time for their family and how much they wanted them.

It was driving the guards crazy what with the racket those kids were making. So they thought if they did it right they could get rid of two headaches. They got it into their heads that they would take me to the cells of the young children and get me to shut them up.

It worked but if they had only realized the consequences of their decision then most likely they never would have done it. The first time I was taken there I was literally thrown into the cell and told to make them shut the fuck up. Yea like seeing some one flying into their cell was really going to stop them from being scared idiots.

So I comforted them and quieted them down. While there I told them that I would be what ever relationship they wanted me to be- mother, sister, best friend, or babysitter- whatever they want me to be. They chose mother and so 'mommy two' was born.

Yeah the guards learned to regret that decision to bring me to the little ones since my maternal instinct kicked in a little early and I was just like mother bear with baby cubs.


	6. Chapter XXXI thru XXXVI

XXXI Back to the Old Cell and the New Tradition

Anyway my staying in Nick's cell only lasted for about a month. The guards figured out that my 'American' friends were worse than my 'Scottish' friends and put me back with my 'Scottish' friends.

Well duh I could have told you that. I mean my 'Scottish' friends were all army/government brats. You learn an amazing amount of tolerance and patience when you are an army/government brat. We know we are only going to be there for three years and then someone is moving whether it is the other guy or yourself doesn't matter. You can put up with anyone for three years when you know you will never see them again.

So I went back to every three to four days escaping which made everyone happy. In fact every time I would escape I would get closer to seeing the outside. I even got as close as the doorway and looked outside. When I shared what the outside world looked like my friends would look at me like I was describing a dream or an alien planet. It just made me want to escape more.

The one thing that didn't go back to the way things used to be was the trips to the little one's cell that kept going. I started a new tradition where I would tell stories that I made up as I went every night. When I wasn't in the little one's cell I would loudly tell the story so that everyone could here. Everyone loved my stories and can't wait to here another. There were some days where I ended up telling three stories by the time we went to bed.

There was a favorite story that they all wanted to here every night. It came with it's own sound track the song Amazing Grace. This story described what it was like to be free and how we would become free once more. At the end of the story we would all sing Amazing Grace until the little ones would fall asleep.

XXXII Springtime Holidays

It was in the season of Lent, Easter and the Passover for our religions. For such important days I would try to bring a feast that would represent that holiday. For Easter I found slices of lunch meat ham in the fridge. They were thin slices and no one got a full slice the guards would have noticed the loss of that much ham but they got to taste ham on Easter.

As far as celebrating it went we would discuss our families' traditions for Easter. You know egg hunts, Easter baskets, new outfits, attend church or not that sort of thing. It was a very happy time and more important it did not offend our Jewish friends.

Lent was a little different that what most Catholics would practice on the outside. For one thing they actually forgot to perform Lent 46 days before the celebration of Easter so some of it took place after Easter (that first time the second time it came around they remembered to celebrate 46 days before).

Also since they weren't eating meat or anything really they felt they still needed to abstain from something. They chose to abstain from sleep. All the Catholics got together and decided that they would take over the watch until the Lent holiday period was over. What surprised me the most is that they were successful at it. They all woke up when it was their turn.

I know we didn't do traditional observances because quite frankly our counting could be off. If you believe your God to be as merciful as I believe mine to be then I'm sure He will forgive us if the dates were off a little.

That brings us up to Passover. Again traditional Passover was not possible since they had to deal with what they remembered from what they read. The order might have been off they might have forgotten a memorized paragraph but they tried to observe it as fully as they could remember to do so.

Again if the Jewish God is as merciful as the God I worship he will forgive His children for any mistakes they made at this particular Passover. They had no books to read from or double check that they didn't forget anything.

Our Passover went a little like this: we had a 'feast' comprising of three items- the meat (lamb), the bitter herb, and the unleavened bread. Gosh I can still remember the conversation we had. They listed what everything that went into the feast. I swear it sounded like twenty things on the list.

I told them "I can't get you all those things they will notice and stop me. I can get you three things you tell me what are the three most important components and I will bring them to you." They thought it over and gave me their three things.

I went on a food run that day and prayed the whole time I was on my way to the kitchen that I could find those things. I arrive and try to think 'where would the meat be kept?' The fridge I go over there and right in front are packages of lamb pre-cooked. I just needed to find a knife and cut it. I made as thin a slice as I could to make it go farther.

I can only hope that they didn't notice there was lamb in the fridge at all since I took it all. Even better the bitter herbs were right next to them. So all I had to do was look for the unleavened bread. I go to the pantry and I see a box that wasn't there before. It had a picture of this giant flat cracker thing on it. I think I just found the unleavened bread.

It took three trips to get the Passover 'feast' to all the cells even the Mormon's cell. Then it was time to be caught making my escape. I tell you it was worth every lash just to know I could give them something that meant so much to them. My gosh you should have seen their faces when I handed them their Passover meal. I don't think their eyes had lit up that much since before they were captured.

Anyway it is now time for the Passover to begin. We sat around in an almost full circle there was one spot open in our circle just in front of the cell door. So if Elijah the Prophet came that night he would find a place set aside for him.

We would mime all the steps of the Passover that they remembered. They remembered quite a bit actually. There was one spokesperson per cell and they spoke loud enough that those in other cells (mainly for the Mormon cell to follow along correctly) all the steps of the Passover.

I don't know if it was God smiling down on us or if our faith was so strong that day that a miracle just had to happen. For every step we could feel as if it was there. When we washed our hands in mime we felt the water, when we mimed the drinking of wine we tasted it on our tongues and felt it flow down our throats. We had the entire feast that night even though physically we only had three things.

I am so honored that I got to participate in something so special and there is nothing about that time that I would change. Then as they told the story of the Exodus of the Israelites out of the land of Egypt it just really struck a chord with us all.

As we looked around our cell at our own captivity and then they looked at me and remembered the answer to their pray about a savior. You could see their thoughts in their eyes we have our own 'Moses' and we are only waiting for the time when 'our Moses' will lead us out of our land of Egypt and on to our promised land called home.

There are no words in any tongue to describe what we felt that Passover season. But I promise you it stayed with us for our entire lives and we will never forget that time.

[Hand writing barely legible in the Passover paragraphs. The strong emotions of the writer was easy to view through the shaky handwriting.]

XXXIII Plan for a New Torture Focus

Life revolved as it usually did in that place. I kept being a handful and my friends kept being even more unbroken. We went through a lot of guards. I guess I got under peoples skin a lot because it wasn't that they were rotated to a new cell or even a new place in the compound.

They got transferred to another's country cell of the terrorist organization. I guess I got under their skin so bad they were afraid of a repeat beating like when I sang for the first time. Oh well now we know how big this organization is.

I guess I can't blame them for wanting to beat me that bad I mean I do deserve it. After all I did unman them every chance I got and belittled their authority to their faces.

I remember one time a guard was so mad at me he thrust his gun in my face and all I did was look at the barrel of the gun then look the guard in the eye.

I told him "Oh someone is compensating for what they lack. After all the only way to see what you have is with a high powered electron microscope."

Other guards had to drag him away after that to the sounds of a hallway filled with children's laughter.

Yes I deserved to be beaten but it made me realize that my friends did not deserve their beatings. They had done everything that the guards asked them to do and still they were beaten. Well beatings take a lot out of you and if they were going to have the strength to escape this place one day then those beatings would have to stop.

I knew the guards would not stop beating us but they just might be persuaded to focus their beatings on one target. Guess who I wanted that target to be? He he he he I think I can convince the guards to accept my idea. So I decided to put my plan in action.

It was a day like any other and I heard the guards beating up Nick in the other cell. Well I had enough of the guards beating my friends and so I walked up to the door and started to kick it with my foot (the bottom people I'm not that stupid) you know like cops on tv do.

Apparently I don't have the strength of the cops on tv so I had to kick it several times. The damn thing still never fell open but the hinges did bend by the time I was made to stop.

The banging of my foot and the screaming insults to the guards was the only thing I am sure I heard. I could have been imagining that weird 'popping' sound it sounded like those little fire crackers you throw on the ground and they pop.

Anyway next thing I know the guards were coming into my cell and beating me to shut the hell up. They entered my cell pretty quickly actually like they were afraid what might happen if they lingered out in the hall.

It took some time but I managed to get the guards into the habit to beat only me. Oh there was the occasional swat to the others and certainly plenty of threats of worse but the heavy stuff was now all mine to bear. Yes now my friends can gain strength back and when the time comes they can run and even fight their way out of here.

XXXIV The Birthday Present I Didn't Want

I forgot to give the guards their due. You see there was one thing that they did that was actually humane. They celebrated our birthdays and brought us a present. The birthday kid would receive food for their birthday.

Okay have you seen those slider burgers that restaurants sell. Well cut that in half and that is the size of the burger that we receive for our birthday. Not much but still it's extra food for one person and it's meat that's huge.

Anyway the time had come for my birthday and I was given my burger. I could not justify to myself eating food the others did not have so I shared my burger with everyone. We had half a nibble each it was so Twenty and Ten moment I almost had to cry. But everybody got meat that day so I was happy.

Meanwhile we got five new guards to join that terrorist cells 'happy family'. Oh how I wish they had never shown up. They were warned about me you see and they came up with a way to break me. Their solution would have very much worked if they had been allowed to be successful. Oh thank you merciful God they were not successful. They decided to give me my very own special birthday present just us all alone.

They came and got me out of my cell. They took me down the hall a ways (found out later it was the cell two doors down to the men they captured) and shoved me inside. They grabbed me and my clothes I could tell they wanted my clothes off. I fought them of course but when you don't even know how to make a proper fist let alone how to swing it your chance at success is limited.

For the record it took **FIVE FULL GROWN MEN **to hold me down. Unfortunately there were five full grown men to hold me down. We all have our clothes off and four of the men are holding my limbs out stretched from my body as well as making it impossible to move. I can't turn my head I can't squirm I can't move my body at all from the way these five men are holding me down.

One man my guess was he was lucky number one because he came up with the idea. Anyway he is straddling me and his man part is fully sticking out and he is slowly walking on his knees up my body toward my mouth. I think he wants me to have that thing in my mouth.

I don't know what they are offering me (I was to young to have the sex talk) I only know that I don't want it. Anyway since I couldn't move physically the only option available to me to get out of this situation was to pray.

Oh pray I did I prayed the most heart felt prayer ever. We are taught that God sees our heart felt desires and he answers them. Well my heart felt desire at that time was to get the HELL AWAY FROM THESE MEN.

The prayer I prayed was very eloquent and very heart felt and can be summarized by one line really. "Kill me or save me but don't let them have me." That was the prayer I prayed and God answered me because my answer appeared at the door before I even got to Amen.

A strange man appeared in the door. He definitely was no guard not dressed like that. Boy was he pissed off I really hope he isn't mad at me because I will fucking die.

He doesn't say a word he just grabs the man who was straddling me and threw him into the stone wall across the room. He then followed the man and did his damnedest to beat him to a true bloody pulp.

If I only knew the fucking bastard would be so damn annoying and insist on being in my life constantly I would have stolen a guards gun rammed it up his ass and pulled the trigger.

Anyway I really do owe that guy a lot for saving me from a fate worse than death and that's the last time I will ever admit it, you manipulative fucking bastard. I mean it Richard!

Another guard appeared at the door and saw them. He hauled them off me and got me dressed then with a glare at the other men took me back to my cell.

I knew I couldn't tell the others for if they knew how close I came to being broken then they would shatter. So I will keep this to myself always to protect them. They need to be strong I won't weaken them.

It's my fault that this happened I was the one who annoyed all the guards and made a mockery of their authority to their faces. This was just my punishment that's all.

I wish I could say it only happened once but that would be a lie. Those same five men came to me for five days straight and it was just like the first time. I fought every time but it did no good they over powered me.

I prayed the same prayer every time and I got the same answer every time. The last day when my answer appeared in the door the five men gave a different reaction. They picked me up and threw me head first into the stone wall in the cell. **My** guard came over and dressed me then picked me up and carried me back to my cell.

Once he got there he then did some weird shit with his fingers like move one finger side to side in front of my eyes and then up and down. He sat me down in front of him and would hold up one finger of each hand bring the hands together and put one finger down while bringing up another finger of the other hand. He kept repeating until all five fingers were up on one hand. Then he held up my hands and had me repeat the pattern he just did. It was years later before I figured out he was checking to see if I had a concussion.

I had only just turned ten you know my parents never gave any of us the sex talk let alone me. It would be several years before I figured out what they were doing.

Thankfully they were kept away from the children after that. I never saw them again until I had successfully escaped and they were some of the guards sent to bring me back.

Believe me I ran faster once I saw them because I knew what would happen if they caught me. Besides then that guy was there beside me ready to take them out.

[These paragraphs are written in very shaky handwriting with hesitant pen strokes. You can see that this is a very hard topic to talk about.]

XXXV Fearless Girl

You remember how they would 'exercise' us by throwing in bags of snakes into the cell. Well after a few times of running for the wall I got tired of running and decided to stand my ground.

What can I say I was either the bravest girl of all time of fucking suicidal? To this day I'm not sure which it was. Anyway what I started doing was stay on the ground and when a snake came near me I would stomp on its' head. As soon as I stomped on my first snakes head the guards would call the snakes back so the 'exercising' session would end quicker then it used to.

Well one time I got really cocky and when we heard the exercise going on in other rooms I had my friends run up the wall and **be in position** for when it was our turn.

The guards came and saw this and they were not happy at all. So a brand new punishment came into being. I had to stomp on the head of every single snake before the guards would call them back.

I had no idea my body could bend in those configurations. I would leap in the air and twist while being bent over and just weird shit like that that no body should have been able to do. It was like dodge ball with snakes and I didn't get out in **that** dodge ball game. I successfully stomped on every snakes head.

It was for that stunt and all the other shit I did to defy the guards that they gave me a brand new name. I love this name and am proud to answer to this name that they gave me. They called me Girl-With-No-Fear and I proved that to be true.

The only time in that whole period in my life when I was scared was when the five guards decided to give me a special birthday present. But even then I never showed it or at least I don't think I did.

XXXVI A Sister's Pride

I went my whole life with my older sisters barely acknowledging that I was related to them. That all changed when we were captured by these assholes. I made them proud of me. They wanted to admit they were related to be at the top of their lungs.

My sister Amanda made this abundantly clear because she made two songs about me there. Okay so she took popular songs and then changed the words so it fits be but it is still two songs she made about me so it counts.

The two songs were We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions by Queen. I loved to new chorus she made for Rock You the lyrics got changed into "You can bite me!" and We got changed into She for the other song. Isn't that great I made my sister proud. She never lost that pride in me not even in death.

The best part about those new songs is that when we stomped our feet to them we almost had enough people to recreate the Biblical story of Jericho. We could see the walls actually shake and dust was raining down on us. If we had just a dozen more we probably could have pulled it off.


	7. Chapter XXXVII thru XLII

XXXVII Winter

Holy shit we've been here a whole fucking year. Winter has come to our 'humble abode' and fevers are like a plague around here. When they realize that you have a fever then they take you out of the cell and treat you at the infirmary. Once the fever breaks it is back into the cell you go.

They were hoping that I would stop trying to escape over the winter but that didn't happen. I mean duh my friends need to eat more to stay alive it is fucking cold outside and even colder then usual inside. I now got to the point where I step outside into fresh air.

One time I got a full ten steps away from the building before I was captured again. I got a lucky strike at the guard holding me and broke away to get even farther away I got fifteen whole steps away before I was recaptured.

I was whipped so badly that day I almost died. I'm not that good at math and I may have been slightly delirious from the pain but I swear that I was whipped one thousand times that day (or at least it felt like I was whipped a thousand times that day).

All I know is I am lucky to have any part of my back show through the scars. They like didn't stop until every single inch of my back had been covered in a lash stroke.

Anyway my new found speed may have been inspired by that mystery guy who decided to hurl insults at me from his cell. I mean come on pot calling the kettle black here.

He obviously can escape his cell because he did it five times in a row but then he just sits there in his cell not even trying to escape and insults me that I'm not fast enough.

Fuck you I half want the guards to catch me so they don't see everybody eating and raid the cells for our food stash. I don't get caught when it matters asshole. I wasn't just the leader of this group I was the goddamn distraction.

So long as I was being beaten and the only thing they had to do was eat sleep and grow stronger then my job was successful. I knew that if they were going to be strong enough to get the HELL OUT OF THIS PLACE then they couldn't lose energy through beatings. It takes a lot out of you to get tortured you know. So FUCK YOU RICHARD I escaped at the pace I did because it was part of my grand plan. (YES I HAD A PLAN. I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT WAS A GOOD PLAN. I DON'T CARE IF YOU LIKE THE PLAN. BUT FUCKING SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT HOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLAN. I DO PLAN ASSWIPE SO SHOVE IT UP YOUR DICK AND COUGH OUT SEMAN I CAN TO PLAN!)

XXXVIII Hanukkah

So sorry that was total side track. The most important part of this time of year was the Hanukkah and Christmas season. I tell you this is one season that none of us will ever forget. Even though the surroundings was the bleakest you could dwell in I tell you my fondest Christmas memory was this holiday season.

We had the most incredible Menorah the most incredibly inventive Menorah that is that the Jewish people have ever seen. Just like Passover we didn't have the necessary components for a traditional Hanukkah celebration.

The fact of the matter is I'm not a Jew I never was a Jew. I don't understand all the nuances of Jewish holidays and I don't believe any non-Jewish person can. All I am is a person who is trying to give my friends the spirit of the holiday more then the letter of the holiday.

Our gifts for Hanukkah were…uh….creative and…hand crafted. Our Menorah didn't look like any Menorah you will see on the outside world. It was made up of twig and matches.

The twig (thin wooden skewer very small) and eight matches (to represent the eight days of the miracle) see what I mean about inventive. If this ended up offending my Jewish friends they never told me. I guess they ended up getting an extra gift that Hanukkah season a non-believer that tried to give them their miracle.

Just like with Passover I went to the kitchen to try and find what we would need. Right there clear as day on a table were the skewers and a full huge box of matches.

I made a judgment call when it came to the little ones cell. No way was I giving them matches so I lit the skewer outside their door and gosh you should have seen the sight that came next. I told them to put it up in the corner by the ceiling I didn't want them to burn themselves.

The older ones climbed up the wall the youngest ones stayed on the other side of the room and the oldest one grabbed the lit skewer and brought it to the wall. Then these children passed up the damn thing like it was the Olympic torch up that wall and stuck it in the corner where it stayed for the full eight days.

Everyone else (including the Mormons) just got an unlit skewer and eight matches. Let the Festival of Lights begin anyway I don't know how it happened but our own Hanukkah miracle happened that year.

There was no way that those skewers would last burning through the night for eight days (we blew it out each morning before the guards saw it sorry had to you know) hell it shouldn't have lasted for one night. But they did they burned for eight days and the skewer I lit for the little ones well during the day it was smoke unnoticeable by the guards but come night it burst into flames and stayed inflamed until the next day where it would just turn into smoke again.

XXXIX Hanukkah Gifts

Apparently God forgave us for not doing it right. Either that or He was laughing so hard at our creative gift giving He didn't have enough anger left inside to punish us. Looking back at some of the gifts we gave two of those days were just down right perverted. The eight days of gifts were as follows:

Day one: The gift of happy memories. Each of the Jews gave their eight favorite personal Hanukkahs. The Hanukkah memories that they shared with their family and friends you know.

Day two: The gift of tradition. Each Jew would give their eight favorite story of Hanukkah celebrations. Think great sports stories that are remembered twenty years after they happened and talked about as if it happened yesterday. That sort of thing only Hanukkah it is eight favorite worldwide celebration stories of Hanukkah.

Day three: Changing of outfits part one. On this day is one of the pervert days. I will go into more detail on this day just because it was hysterical then and now.

The boys exchange clothes with each other and since there were no dressing rooms they had to do it in front of us girls. Back then it was merely curious to know what makes boys different from girls now thinking back that scenario is lip licking good.

The girl's gift to the guys was to close our eyes and not peak while they were changing. Yes we in fact did not peak (perverts reading this). Of course that was probably due to me telling them to turn back around with glares and snapping of fingers work so well.

We set it up so that all the girls are facing the door and that wall with our backs turned to the boys. We gave the boys the whole room so they could change without being one big lump of tangled limbs (okay perverts quit drooling). Some clothes really fit the new owner as in skin tight how-the-hell-did-they-get-it-on type fit. Some need to eat more because those clothes was fucking baggie.

Day four: Changing of outfits part two. This is another pervert day. I will be adding the dialogue to this day just because it is fucking hysterical.

It was set up just like the last day only a helluva lot more vocal. On this day the girls exchanged outfits and the boys closed their eyes and didn't peak. Again perverts yes they kept their eyes closed.

This was probably due to the fact they were afraid we would castrate them with our bare hands. Come to think of it we might have.

The whole time we were changing all you heard was: "turn back around what the hell are you thinking." "a girl feeds us dumbass do you really want to piss her off." "what the fuck do you really want to see a bunch of girls mad at you with no where to run." "curiosity killed the cat and it's weapon is called female." "DON'T TURN AROUND DON'T TURN AROUND THERE IS ENOUGH GIRLS TO HOLD YOU DOWN AND GRIND YOUR BALLS INTO DUST."

That one was my personal favorite. These were the most repeated but there were so many more. Apparently the boys had hit puberty without telling anyone and the hormones were in full swing.

Day five: The hair day. The boys went around and detangled all the girls' hair for them. Then the few girls that knew how to braid and make ponytails went around putting the girls' hair up while the other girls combed through the boys hair. We also got scalp massages doing this and Ooohhhh did that feel good.

Day six: Feet washing with tears of mirth. We went around tickling, telling jokes and funny stories whatever we could think of to make ourselves laugh so hard we cried. Then the girls would wash the feet of the boys and the boys would wash the feet of the girls. I washed the feet of Scott since he was the oldest and all the boys together washed my feet. There are no words in any language to describe how…honored I felt that day.

Day seven: The day of singing. This is the day where we sang I swear every Hanukkah song that had ever been written since the day of the Miracle. It was so much fun and the spirit we had in those cells that day is beyond words to describe. Mystery guys got a voice because I heard him sing a solo at the beginning of the day. I asked him why he was singing and he said "it's the seventh day of Hanukkah I always sing on the seventh day of Hanukkah." Oh my gosh we weren't just guessing it really is Hanukkah. HELL YES!

Day eight: An open-mind and honest desire to know. I was the one that started this gift but all the other Christians caught on. This was a gift from the Christians to the Jews. I asked them to tell me all about their faith. I swear they started with the thought of Creation moved on to the actual Creation and up to the present day hitting every prophet every great man and every leader their people have ever produced. That was a lot of knowledge and I think they surprised themselves how much they knew of their own people.

On the morning of that day there was a mysterious brown bag in each of our cells. Inside was enough food for each of us to feast on including me. Also inside was a note to me saying to eat the damn food.

A miraculous feast bag shows up yeah I ate the food. I had forgotten what it felt like to be full. I thought my stomach was going to burst and I felt so nauseous for the next three days but it was real food we ate that day.

XL Christmas

That year Hanukkah fell near the end of December so after Hanukkah came Christmas. Christmas was only two days long and they broke out there food stash so that they could have a feast which was part of their gift to me personally. I didn't have to make a food run they told me not to make a food run that they would survive off of their storage for the Christmas holiday.

Our Jewish friends gave the best damn gifts that year. For Christmas Eve we sang every single Christmas song ever written I think and every winter song just for the hell of it. The Jews sang just as passionately as the Christians. After all if the Christians could sing passionately about Hanukkah then the Jews could sing passionately about Christmas.

For Christmas Day We got to speak about Christ. It had been a whole year since we spoke His name in order to respect our Jewish friends and so this was their gift. They asked us with a sincere desire to tell them all about Christ and Christianity.

Between us I think we spoke the entire Bible verbatim. It felt so good to talk about our Savior our whole faces just…glowed with new life. We had smiles on our faces that could have lit up North America for a year.

Even the guards got into the holiday spirit. They never once tried to stop us, never told us to shut the hell up, a couple that passed by when we sang would sing with us. I guess even those assholes had the Christmas spirit.

XLI The New Addition

Christmas Day I got an extra gift courtesy of the guards. A baby boy old enough to crawl I know what they were thinking give her the responsibility of this new life and she will stop trying to run away.

You'd think they would know me by now but no they don't have a clue. Also that is when some really weird things started to happen. Food would appear in our cells on days when I would normally do food runs. And we always had things for the baby.

The guards forgot there was more then just me in the cell. So when I went to escape I would give the baby over to **Aunt** Megan to protect until _I got back_.

Those assholes also forgot to tell me the baby's name so I had to ask God to tell me his name. What I didn't want the baby to have an identity crisis he was going to be screwed up enough as it is. My baby's name is Micheal.

He stayed with me until he could walk and start to run. Then they took him to the little ones cell. In that cell his three older brothers were waiting for him so he always had family nearby. His first words were mama and his second words were bite me thank you Amanda your words were inspirational.

XLII Abnormal Girl

It was bound to happen I caught a fever. It was a pretty bad one since I ignored it and refused to admit I was actually sick. The guards figured it out when I was almost bitten by three snakes and didn't even try to fight back. My friends freaked and I was taken to the infirmary.

The guards decided they didn't want to hear my fevered rants (I guess I talk in my sleep even then) and so they would sedate me to shut me up. They kept me sedated I was not allowed to wake up between doses. In fact I had so much sedative in my system there was no more room for my fever and I swear the damn thing went into remission.

I discovered a couple of new things about my body I was really not happy when I discovered this. It boils down to the fact that my body is really fucking sensitive.

When I woke up I couldn't move I was paralyzed from the head down. In fact have you ever been so tired or drugged up that you forget to blink and it's like a minute between blinks. My body did the same thing at this time only it was longer then a minute I swear it felt like I was too paralyzed to even blink.

I learned later on in life (although not to far away in the future) that there was another lasting effect of the damn sedative.

The sedative components stay in my body's cells although the drowsiness wares off the sedative itself never go away. I can never be sedated for any operation now because my body ended up becoming so saturated from sedatives given to me at this time and one other that I will literally drop dead if I receive mere drops of the shit.

Look I know that normal is overrated **but come on God** did you really need to do this to me. I mean like being short enough to qualify for midget status and blond wasn't enough you have to add in weird ass dreams that **always** come true and even more shit to the mix.

Wasn't I different enough why do you insist and adding more different to me? I don't want to be so different that there is no one else at all like me. To bad I am God do you hate me is that why you did this to me?


	8. Chapter XLIII thru XLVIII

XLIII Holy Fuck I Escaped

Well one thing that illness did was revitalize me and give me the message it was time to get the HELL out of here.

So I made a point to have a conversation with the stranger men kept in the cells just down the hall from us. The men that share the cell with mystery man (who fucking idiot never told me his goddamn name you asshole).

I mean there was no real reason for me to escape if there was no one to turn to for help. So these men who appear to be soldiers of some elite unit told me where their base is and that I could go to their team and that their team could help me.

Mystery man looked like he had just swallowed an entire bottle of prune juice when they said that. He told me that his team was twelve and that they **will** help me save the others.

"In fact just so you will actually get the hell out of here this time I'll go with you." He told me while I stood out side his door.

"Are you sure your lazy ass can keep up with me?" I ask him sweetly. I learned he likes sarcasm so I give him just enough to be happy with out appearing ungrateful to the man that saved me. God knows he never lets me forget it these days the bastard.

He raised an eyebrow and replies "I believe _little _girl _who can't eat_, the question is can you keep up with me?" The expression on his face after he said that showed that he highly doubted it.

"I guess we will never know because you are to fucking lazy to get out of your own damn cell." I tell him.

"Actually I got out of my cell five times and here is how. Now move the fuck away or you may get hurt and I will not have that on me." He tells me and reaches for something. I am curious as hell but I back away. The door soon disappears.

"Let's go _kid _those guards aren't deaf just dumb."

He starts heading for the outside and I am right beside him I sure as hell wasn't going to be behind him you know. (Stop laughing Richard) When we got to the door I put on a burst of speed and exited before him (the door was narrow only one of us could leave at a time) and I would not be behind him (I just knew he would never let me live it down if I did let him lead).

For a half dead guy he can actually move. Fuck I'm actually impressed the walking corpse can move at a dead run. Not that I'd ever admit it to him (I don't care if you show me this page I'm still denying I wrote it Richard) but it took all the speed inside of me just to keep up with him.

He was right (curse him for an arrogant bastard) the guards weren't deaf and they weren't slow either. Apparently an exploding door caused quite a crowd to follow us.

I never should have looked back. For when I looked back I saw there in the crowd were all five of the guards that took me to that cell and the guard that nearly whipped me to death 'Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Please merciful God don't let them catch me!' I know that even if I survive what they will do to me I will wish for the rest of eternity that I had not.

I started to slow down and shake when I saw who was following us I would have been frozen in fear if not for mystery guy 'would the lazy bastard never tell me his name.'

He grabbed me by my wrist and hauled me along after him. I noticed that he would glimpse back at the guards following us and his eyes narrowed. I must have just imagined it but I swear he was giving them a peaking order of who he will kill first and it looked like the five guards won.

Anyway we were running for all we were worth but that lack of food and real exercise started to pay a toll on our bodies. "Can't you keep up little girl. Those bastards will do worst to you if they catch us."

"Tell me something I haven't figured out on my own yet?" I pant at him as I try to keep the speed we started out with. God there it is sunlight. I can see the outdoors at last.

Mystery guy just raises an eyebrow and gives a slight smile like he approves my comeback or something like that.

Whatever 'legs keep moving we never let our stomach dictate our actions before and we sure as hell won't start now' (Oh my gosh I swear I can hear your laughter from here it's not that funny.)( Yes it is little girl who can't write.)(Fuck you goddamn arrogant asshole this is my story and I can too write.)(Right)(Get out of my story)

My pep talk isn't working I managed to get physically outside on my own two feet but I am fading fast. I swear I am starting to see gray spots in my vision and I start to stumble like I am drunk.

If he hadn't been holding me I would have collapsed to the ground. 'Holy fuck! What the HELL just happened!' My world had spin out of control and when it settled down again I was being held in his arms.

"Next time you decide to escape you really should remember to eat first you'll last longer." He told me when he saw my eyes were focused on him.

I know I had a look of confusion on my face I mean come on who wouldn't. How is the walking dead guy strong enough to pick me up let alone carry me to safety? Doesn't he have limits and what will we do when he reaches them? (find new ones!)

God I hate this! My life hangs in the balance and the outcome depends entirely on him. Why can't I control my own fate? (Quit smirking all of you I mean it!)

"Since you weren't smart enough to plan this out I'll just carry you." He tells me with his eyes straight ahead.

I can't let him get away with such a comment you know. Ah pride we all possess thee. "What are you talking about I just need to catch my second wind then I'll be fine." I tell him. I have no idea where my second wind is hiding but when I find it I plan on using it. Again with that damned raised eyebrow.

"Really shall we see if you found it yet for a half starved little girl you are not that light." With that he removes the arm supporting my legs and let them dangle. Then still holding on to the upper half of me he sets my feet down on the ground.

They feel like unset Jello and it's like trying to run a marathon in the ocean. I'm trying to get my legs to obey my will. I'm trying to get them to move but they just won't.

With a little jerk he has me back in his arms. "I guess not oh well I suppose I can carry you if I must." Even though his tone is sarcastic his eyes are compassionate.

I guess he saw my struggle to force my will on my body and realized what I did my spirit is very willing to run and escape but my flesh is just too weak to listen right now. I can only hope with a little more rest I can force my body to move.

Since I am in his arms for the foreseeable future I look behind us to see where the guards are at. Ice fills my whole body and I think I stopped breathing. 'They're that close? They weren't that close before! Shit they are going to catch us and I can't move!'

My mind conjured all that would happen to me when they catch us and I half had a panic attack and half went into shock. This is so not good my imagination is a little too active and I have a feeling that it won't be just imagination for much longer.

Mystery guy must have been telepathic (shut the fuck up all of you) and a hell of a lot more compassionate than I gave him credit for. He jostled me to get me to look at him and his eyes were full of strength.

It was like he was willing his strength into me I swear I could feel myself grow stronger just by looking at him. "Don't look back! Never look back! You can't change what happened to you before but, you can always move forward and be a better person because of what took place before. You will discover strength beyond imagining if you can only remember to keep moving forward no matter what you had to wade through behind you."

He looked like he cared about me it's been so long since I saw an adult that cared about me.

He smiled at me and in a tone that any father or parent would recognize said "it's alright little one I've got you. You don't need to be afraid I'm here and I'll keep the bastards away from you."

I'll never admit it to him but we both know I did I snuggled into him and just let him hold me really hold me. I felt loved gosh how long had it been since I felt that. (The love of a parent you perverted assholes. (huh?) It is just like a little kid coming to sleep with mom and dad after a nightmare. God get your thoughts out of the gutters.)

We kept running with me in his arms. He seemed tireless but all good things must come to an end. My little moment of happiness was shattered when the guards caught up enough that mystery guy could no longer ignore them.

"Listen to me little girl very carefully." His tone alone got my eyes glued onto him and I listen with all my being I knew what he had to say I had to pay very close attention to.

"WE will not be able to outrun them so WE won't. **I** will be a distraction and buy you time to escape. When I set you down I want you to move as fast as you can forward." Then he half smiled half smirked at me "even if you have to walk keep moving forward **don't** look back. Can you do that for me?"

I was scared spitless but I nodded my head yes I could do that.

This time he fully smiled at me it was a proud father type smile "Good here we go then."

For the second time he swung my legs down and lowered me to the ground. Again he kept a hold of me I was a little shaky but my legs were working again. He slowly released me a little at a time until only our hands remained joined. Then with a thrust of his arm he slingshots me in front of him and turns around to face the guards.

XLIV He Saved Me

I faced forward until the momentum of his swing is gone then I turn to face what is happening. I don't stop moving mind you just walk backwards as fast as I can.

But I had to know what was going on partly curiosity and partly I don't like being alone so I'm moving forward but still able to see what's behind me (sigh that's the story of my life in one pathetic statement). My eyes got big my mouth hit the ground because you should have seen the sight I found behind me when I turned around.

Mystery guy was taking them all on at once and he was armed with this huge ass sword. I got to tell you he knew how to swing his sword but still I wonder to this day WHERE THE HELL DID YOU HIDE YOUR SWORD YOU BASTARD! Richard never will tell me that which is so annoying.

As I watch him fight I realize that I can't see the five guards. I am really nervous and start to walk faster and glance around as I continue to watch the fight. I can only hope that he really did kill them first.

Wow! My lazy-ass mother fucker mystery guy can really fight he swings that sword around with such strength and grace (that is not me stoking your ego Richard so stop smirking) all I can think is 'I want to be able to do that too someday soon' (God if I only knew I would have started screaming as soon as I had that thought).

He is holding his own guard after guard he lays on the ground. I don't know if they are dead or just to hurt to get back up. I don't even care I just can't find it in myself to grieve for those wasted lives he slaughtered.

If I had had the skill I would have slaughtered those assholes myself. Wow! If my fellow Mormons could here these thoughts I just might be in danger of being excommunicated.

Then it happens I am only just close enough to still see the battle as vague shapes in the distance. I see him fall down to the ground and he doesn't get back up.

I know I have to face forward because tears will only slow me down. I vow that I will not cry I will be strong for him and I will run. (Oh if I only knew how long it would take for me to cry again I never would have made that vow.)

My only chance at disappearing is if they take the time to gloat over defeating him. I knew that I had to find his twelve men they deserved to know that their leader is dead.

'Oh merciful God in Heaven how am I supposed to tell them he died for a worthless creature like me? Why would he do that for me? Why would he sacrifice himself for a complete stranger like me? I'm a nobody I don't matter and I never will God I don't understand what kind of man does what he did and how do I become worthy of his sacrifice?' SHUT UP RICHARD AND NO I AM NOT STROKING YOUR EGO!

XLV My Ships Come In

I ran for all I was worth away from the man who died for me. I don't know where this energy came from unless it really is my second wind or a God given gift, it had nothing to with you Richard.

Anyway before my legs give out a second time I reach a village or maybe it's a town. All I know is that it is by the sea. My Gosh we were this close to the sea and we never heard it once in our cells.

If the only the others knew how close we were to a means of freedom they would have had such hope. But I have no way of getting a message back to them so I just suck it up and look for some way back to the States.

Oh Praise the Lord and God's sense of humor. There was a ship leaving for the States the name of the ship is _FREEDOMS PRIDE_. I almost laughed out loud when I saw it.

Now to sneak on board there is so much bustle on the dock they won't notice one little girl I hoped. I noticed a couple of times that some crates groupings had room in front for a body if they scrunched up tight. Good thing I am little and am good at scrunching up tight. So I look for one of these and while I do I pray 'God please don't let them see me.'

There's one so I make a mad dash to it and just as I get there it slows down so I can get on it and cover myself up. I ride it onto the ship and even better _luck_ it is on the aisle so I don't get trapped in this thing.

I sit there in the dark and I wait for them to finish loading and set sail. As I sit I realize that I have no idea where this ship is going. Oh well at least it is away form those bastards that killed him and I can always sneak onto another ship if I have to.

With nothing else to do I sit and I think about him and everything he ever said to me or did for me. I am nothing special and never will be so why would he die for me?

He doesn't know me and he sure as hell don't owe me nothing so why would he fight to save me? Eventually I exhaust myself with all these questions that I have no answers to and fall asleep.

XLVI The Voyage of Luck

I wake up hungry and freezing my ass off. But by the sway I can tell we are moving to the ships destination. That's good that were moving and I only now realized just how warm body heat is.

They don't bother to heat or cool the cargo area and I think where I am place it is actually below the water so the walls are the same temperature of the sea. 'God it's cold!' My teeth are chattering so loud that they should hear it clearly two levels up then they will catch me and throw me into that cold cold sea. 'God it's cold!'

I know I have to warm up or I will die. Even a stupid blond like me knew that much. But as I tried to stand I realized that all the running and activity of the past….day?...two days?...how long have I been asleep? Well it caught up to me and I barely have the strength to stand. Shit if I can't stand I can't move if I can't move I will freeze to death.

I was to cold to pray my thoughts just were not coherent at all. But I tried anyway and I think the most coherent part of that prayer was 'miracle now'. It occurred to me that the only way to survive was to get caught and hope that the men wouldn't murder or worse a child. Ok that thought so did not help my shivering!

I crawl to the tarp that covered this group of cargo and pull the tarp back to get outside. Right at the floor by my feet was a thin looking blanket and a bowl of rolls. I look around but I don't see anyone.

I really don't want to reveal myself since I don't know what type of men these sailors are or what they will do to me. So reaching down I drag both items into my _room_ and quickly replace the tarp.

Then I wrapped the blanket around me. 'Holy shit! That blanket must have came straight from Heaven. It felt like an electric blanket cranked all the way up.' My shivering stops almost instantly. I'm warm again and it feels so good.

My hunger refuses to be ignored any longer and I eat a roll…then two…I make myself stop at three. This is my only food I have to make it last the journey. 'God does love me he sent me a miracle.' (I can hear laughing again.)

Every other day I would find a bowl of rolls outside my _door_ and I would make them last for a few days I knew I had to get my strength up for the next part of my mission to get help for the others.

The blanket never lost its' heat so I never shivered again. I still kept the Sabbath day but I would only hum out loud softly and sing the words in my head.

I worried constantly for the others and if anyone was feeding them? If their hopes were still high? If they were being beaten again? All I could do is pray my heart out to God and do my best to find the people I was told about quickly.

The day finally arrived when the ship reached port. In preparation for my next stage of the journey I carefully folded up the blanket and stuck it in my messenger bag along with the rolls I have not yet eaten. I am excited and scared wondering where I am and how much longer will my journey last before I can get help to my friends.

I can hear the men checking the cargo for rat damage. There were a lot of rats in this cargo hold I think I managed to name at least half of them. I gave them all Disney character names and maybe it was the name I chose for them or the roll of bread I would feed them with but they never tried to bite me or mess with me.

So that means that my group of cargo was untouched by the rats and the men just kept on walking when they got to my side of the hold. Leaving the ship was similar to getting on the ship.

When it came time for my cargo to be taken ashore the machine operator actually stopped the vehicle as soon as he left the ship and I was able to get out and scurry away unnoticed.

XLVII Port of Choice

I soon got my bearings and could not help but smile. I WAS HOME! The ship made port into America and not just any port in America but The state that is just below my own and near where the group of men I am looking for can be found. God loves me he sent me straight here.

'Okay time to start moving' and I head out in the direction of the military group while keeping an eye out for mystery guys group. Yes I wanted to find the mystery guys group not only to ask them for help but to tell them their man…leader...whatever the hell he was to them had died.

Well I never found the twelve and I am now right at the gates so to speak of the other group. Guess I'll have to go with them. Oh well their men thought they would help guess I'll know if that's true or not in a couple of minutes.

I get through the back door like they told me about and I'm inside now I know who to ask for just not where to find them.

Huh you'd think there would be more people in a place like this wonder where they are. So the main conference room is just up ahead if I remembered correctly my rights from my lefts and I guess I'll just wait inside for someone to find me.

XLVIII The New Prison

They found me. Apparently they were arming themselves and waiting to ambush me in the conference room that's why I couldn't find anyone before. Well good it makes finding the person I was told to seek so much easier.

I smile at them and introduce myself although I do wonder why they feel the need to point all those guns in my face I mean it's not like I'm armed here people or even a dangerous criminal nope I'm just a ten year old little girl who needs help saving the people she loves.

"I was told to ask for Clint is he here or do I have to wait?" I ask with a quizzical but innocent expression on my face. One of the men in the back shifts to the front and stands in front of me.

"I'm Clint who told you to ask for me?" He asks me.

I proceed to tell him about the men I talked to in the cell naming them by name. I certainly got the entire rooms attention now.

The whole room erupted with garbling noise. "Are they okay?" "Where are they?" "How do you know them?" "Are they still alive?" "Are they hurt?" "Why would they tell you to come here?" "Why would they send you?"

And so on and so forth to tell you the truth they were giving me a headache. I couldn't help but wince at all the noise and Clint couldn't help but notice since he never took his eyes off of me.

"Quiet everyone!" Clint yells and the whole room is instantly silent.

I just look at him and say "Wow! I usually don't get a reaction that quick unless I shout that the guards are coming." I tell Clint I have to admit I was impressed at the instant leadership thing.

"Guards…what guards?" He asks me.

I answer with "The guards where everybody is at."

As you may imagine this conversation took several hours. I saw no reason not to tell them everything so I did and that alone took like four hours. Clint appeared to be a very understanding guy and calmly spoke to me as he asked for more details and stuff.

When it came time to tell them what country it was I broke down and cried because I didn't know the guards never mentioned it not even mystery guy told me that and that took a good half hour to calm down from.

By the end of it they believed me but at the same time they didn't believe you know. They believed that there were children in danger and they believed that their missing men were with them. They believe that I care about the children and want to help them.

They also believe that I was a goddamn mother fucking son of a bitch piece of shit spy for the very men who have them captured. I would just like to take this time to say 'what the fuck were they smoking?'

So yeah I end up getting thrown into another cell one of their cells. Oh joy more bars. I will say this it is a luxury cell they have me in.

There is a real window high up on the wall with glass you can open and shut. There is furniture in the room including an actual bed WITH BLANKETS! They even provided meals **three times** in **a day** I vaguely remember mom doing that for us.

For the first week all I could think of was my family and how much I missed them. That lead into the families of my friends and how much they missed them. I think I may have been slightly depressed.

That first week I didn't eat anything more than a bite a day and I only ate that much because they talked about forcing me to eat. I was really tired of people forcing me to do stuff. (Although that seems to be all that is happening in my life.)

I was stuck in that cell for months. I really should have looked for the twelve men that mystery guy told me to find.

I now understood the true meaning behind the word _could_ and why mystery guy looked so….angry with that word. Damnit I'm angry too why are they not even planning to help the others.

I mean you can think what you want about me so long as the others get rescued. But nothing they haven't even tried to rescue their own men yet. What the hell is wrong with these people? They're military for goodness sake aren't they supposed to be about brotherhood and no man left behind. So what the fuck are they waiting for?

My friends can't hold out hope much longer. They need me and I'm stuck in this room damn you mother fucking idiots to the farthest depths of hell you fucking pansies!

All I could do was pray for help for all of us. I prayed that there was someone on this planet that would actually help us and that I would meet them. (Quit snickering all of you it is distracting). I prayed that my friends wouldn't lose hope and could wait for my return just a little longer. I prayed that someone would give these assholes a clue and light a fire under their ass to get them moving. I prayed a lot in those months.

Then one day I knew it was time to help myself. I had a dream…vision… experience with my friend Megan. She was in such pain and agony I felt like I was literally dieing.

I screamed out in sympathetic agony until my throat closed up and I swear I stopped breathing and no one came to check up on me. At the end of this…whatever it was I heard Megan scream my name and I knew that they needed me back to them **NOW**!

So not even stopping to catch my breath I dropped to my knees and I prayed that God provide an escape route and I told Him that since I can't get out the door I was going out the window please let it work.

All that lack of food really helped because I am one skinny little bitch I was able to squeeze through the bars of the window and plop head first to the ground. I was at least on the second floor so that should have hurt and it would have hurt but there was someone there to catch me. Okay a lot of someone to catch me.


	9. Chapter XLIX thru LIV

XLIX You're Not Twelve

I was caught before my head hit the cement by this big hairy guy seriously he looked like big foot. There is a whole bunch of fucking random ass people right outside my window.

All I could think is 'Damnit every time I try to get help for my people some strangers end up sticking me in a cell!' So I decide to go on the offensive and get away from them before they can stop me.

"Goddamn it all to hell I won't be delayed any longer you fuckers my friends need me and I'm going to them!" I yell as I try to push past them.

They don't move in fact the one with the long red hair grabs my arm and asks "Where are they little one?"

Yeah I know this routine I tell them everything and then they lock me up and do nothing. "Fuck you! You can't stop me not now my friend called to me and I have to go to her. They need me and since no adult seems to fucking give a shit I'll just rescue them myself. Let go asshole you are in my way. Damn you why won't anyone help them can't you hear their pain. It's so loud I can hear it from here get out of my way mother fuckers!"

I admit I was so upset that I had tears in my eyes but what do you expect no one will help us no one but me seems to care if we live or die and I'm sick of it. Where the hell is the humanity in the American spirit?

I guess they felt guilty or something because they all started to wince. (No Christy it was the screeching). (FUCK YOU I NEVER SREECH)!

One of the men he had lite gray eyes and lite sandy colored hair was fingering something under a jacket I wonder what it is. Well I think the others felt it was inappropriate to pull out because they all started to stop him.

Another one of the men with dark plum eyes and black hair and a ear ring gave this look like 'we came for that you have to be kidding' and then when I got so upset he started to laugh and kept right on laughing. Fucking prick asshole arrogant snob (and no Arlen that's not a compliment). (I took it as one so thank you).

Then like the youngest man, with dark brown hair and gold eyes came up to me and just looked me in the eyes and I didn't feel so upset anymore.

They all looked like someone had taken a load off their shoulders and I had this weird feeling come over me. It was like getting a stuffy head cold that sort of bleeh feeling you know.

The young guy spoke to me "It's alright little one we're not like everybody else you can trust us." (You're not like everybody else oh dear God above is that ever an understatement).

"No I can't every time I trust someone they lock me up! I can't be locked up they need me I'm the only one who is trying to save them! Why is everyone abandoning us? We need help and no one cares if we live or die damn you unfeeling bastards! Let me go I have to save them the guards are hurting them! They need me now and you're only delaying me move damnit move!" I yell out as I try to wrench free of not one but two holds.

I don't like this I feel crowded I feel like I can't breath! They are too close and it's like the walls are closing in on me I can't breath I really can't breathe!

"Hey now little one easy it's alright no one is here to hurt you or even stop you. But you need to tell us where your friends are so we can help you rescue them." This man had curly blonde hair and very dark gray eyes spoke with a soothing voice.

But I can't catch my breath they are too close.

"No you won't you lie! You'll only lock me up again! Everyone locks me up I hate being locked up! They hate being locked up I need to get to them I need to save them! Why won't you just let me go? He told me to find the twelve I have to find the twelve now since these assholes have done nothing even after I told them everything! Why won't anyone ever believe me?"

Suddenly I stop speaking not because I run out of words but because something blocks my ability to speak. (Yeah otherwise known as shock you have to experience it to understand).

"Oh come now little one is your math skills that far off? You found us we're right here we're ready to help you now open up your damn mouth and tell us where they are already!" One of the men in the back speaks out in what sounds like pure irritation. (I know how to count to twelve and no matter how many times I counted you guys you didn't equal twelve).

But my mouth won't work I…I…I'm turned off. I am totally scared but if there is one thing the guards taught me it is to never show fear. So I give him this glare that said 'how the fuck am I supposed to do that if I can't talk asswipe?'

"Uhh Night I think you need to turn off your power in order for her to do that. Hello she CAN'T talk dumb ass." Soothing voice guy said.

Then the Night guy the one who sounded irritated said "Oh yeah I guess that would help wouldn't it."

Suddenly I can speak again and I don't waste anytime in voicing my opinion on what just happened. "Fucking piece of shit! What the HELL was that? What did you do to me? Who are you people? What are you people? Get away from me! Get the HELL away from me you assholes!"

I would have kept going but that…inability to talk happened again only it got worse I couldn't do anything. God I need to get away from these people what the hell **are** they doing to me!

"Right let's try this again slowly. You tell us where they are and we can go get them together." He annunciates each word slowly like I was hard of hearing or slow or something. I'm not retarded I know how to understand English you know.

Anyway this goes on for a good forty-five minutes. The pattern being I get my voice back and start freaking out then whoever or whatever it is taking it away again.

Finally the lone woman steps forward. "Night knock it off that's not working! Boys let her go now!" She gives all the men this glare of death and they back off.

Then she just takes me and embraces me like my mom would whenever I was scared. "It's okay sweetheart the men are idiots and that never changes no matter how old they get"

With that comment there was the vocal reply of "Hey!" And her unvocal reply of another death glare.

"You can tell Mommy Calypso and she will definitely do something not just ignore you like all those worthless men have done."

All of her _worthless men_ are now giving her death glares.

But you know I feel like maybe she will. Maybe these scary people are the answer to my prayer. 'Please God let them be the answer to my prayer! Let them be willing to help me!'

Because I don't think I can take one more rejection of people that are supposed to help but don't. I nod my head in her shoulder I just can't look at them I am afraid I will see that they are lying too and I just can't take it right now.

So I tell her everything from my nightmare that came true to how I ended up stuck in that cell to the experience I just had that made me escape when I did. No one talked no one interrupted they just listened to me and heard my constant begging of aide that went unheard.

When I was done the woman just kissed the top of my head and handed me over to that Night guy. "Wait here I will only be a moment." She said then she walked to the door of building.

After like a couple of minutes we hear this pounding like she was trying to break down the door or something then she appears around the corner hurrying to our side.

L That Didn't Take Long

"Let's go boys! Night do you remember how she described it in her report?"

The Night guy just nods his head.

"Good take us there! And get that look off your face!" She orders him and a really weird experience happened.

First the Night guy takes a strong hold of my hand. Then Night turns us toward the wall that we had been standing by the whole time. Everybody else holds on to me, the Night guy or someone who is holding on to one of us.

Night starts to walk toward the wall like he is going to walk right into it. I tense up but instead of smacking our faces into the cement we…PASS THROUGH IT.

Everything just goes gray and it was really freaky and it was like the gray place was a signal because those that were grabbing Night himself shifted to me or grabbing onto others to keep linked to us. (You don't want to get left behind in the gray place it is not a pretty future).

The Night guy is constantly looking around like he expects danger to appear. There were these shadowy things that were near us but kept their distance for the most part.

Some of them came at us like they were going to attack us and he draws this sword and slices at them. The weird thing was the sword glowed with a light and not long after that we were out of the gray place.

When we get to wherever it is he took us I stumble and would have fallen but one of the men the laughing one I think grabs me and steadies me.

I got to tell you he was a brave man because I was feeling really nauseous and he risked me puking up on him. Thankfully for both of us I kept everything down.

I look around and I'm back in the spot where I was standing when I saw him fall. Oh gosh I only skimmed over this part of the story I never told them that I saw him fall.

I feel tears well up in my eyes but surprisingly none fall from my eyes (oh if I only knew)(and knowing is half the battle)(Anthony get out this is not GI JOE) and make my way unsteadily forward.

When I get to the spot where he died I just drop to my knees and wrap my arms around myself as I start to shake uncontrollably.

They don't say a word as laughing guy picks me up in his arms and they keep walking in the direction that I was traveling. He sets me down when we reach the building.

Oh merciful God I really don't want to go back into this place. I take a deep breath and lead them inside.

LI Why Does She Sound so Familiar

I still have the lead as I take them down the same corridor that mystery guy and I ran down so many months ago. 'Damnit don't think about him tears won't help him and it won't save your friends.'

As I thought these words laughing guy whispered them into my ear as if to give comfort. As I approach the cell where he was kept along with those bastards of the military men I swear I must be locked in a memory.

I could hear the sounds of yelling coming from the cell the words sound so familiar. I speed up 'it couldn't be him could it no that is a woman?'

"You mother fucking sons of bitches what the **hell** is your problem? COULD FUCKING COULD FUCKING HELP, FUCKING HELP ONLY! YOU KNOW THOSE ASSHOLE SHIT FOR BRAINS CAN'T DO FUCKING SHIT WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING COULD FUCKING **COULD** YOU PIECE OF SHIT IDOITS WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU FUCKING ARE SHE IS A BABY A LITTLE INNOCENT BABY WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. YOU ARE LUCKY I DON'T KILL YOU. WHY , YOU ARE TOO DUMB TO FUCKING LIVE. BUT MY BABY MAY FIND THE BODIES AND THIS WOULD WORRY HER. YOU GRRR WORDS CAN'T SAY HOW I FEEL YOU STUIPD ASSHOLES SHIT FOR BRAINS. YOU SAY YOU ARE PROTECTING THE LIVES OF OTHERS LIARS FUCKING LAIRS."

The people who came with me had a strange reaction they all smiled and started to giggle.

What the fucking hell is going on? I feel like I have only the last two pages of a book but everyone around me is expecting me to understand the whole plot. I am so confused but I have a feeling that what happens on this day with these people will affect my entire future (holy shit I'm a goddamn prophet),(a good one too).

I make it just outside the door and look in. It is a teenage girl she looks to be around my sister Amanda's age or maybe 14.

Actually I wonder what month this is and how old would my family be now. 'Focus Christy this is too weird a sight to just daydream unimportant shit like that.'

Anyway this girl looks like she could be mystery guys kid sister. So I turn to the twelve who were really eleven (I can count and there weren't twelve so don't be surprised it took so long to believe you would help fucking arrogant bastards!) and ask them "Does mystery guy have a baby sister?"

They all openly laugh at this and young guy said "no but sometimes I do."

These people are weird and I think I want them out of my life quickly (quit smirking all of you assholes).

I am so confused so I ask him "what do you mean?"

He just smiles this knowing smile and says "some things are just better finding out on your own little one. Don't worry you will understand soon if I know my sister that is."

I would have questioned him further but things really started moving at that point. For one thing **MY** guard appeared and the teenage girl turned and noticed us at last.

They said at almost the same time "Hey guys what took you so long?" "WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU DAMN IDIOTS SO FUCKING LONG TO GET HERE YOU'RE GODDAMN FUCKING LATE!"

LII You're Him

I was absolutely speechless they…know…each…other? How do they know each other? Oh Merciful God in Heaven who **are** these people and what do they want with me? My eyes were huge and my mouth dropped open. I really wanted to get away but they seem to have surrounded me with out me realizing it. I…I was trapped!

The young guy that looked in my eyes and made me…not feel was by my side again. He lightly touched my arm in reassurance I guess all I know is that I was feeling less trapped and he said to the teen girl "Hey sis long time no see if your done bitching at the losers let's go save some kids."

Completely forgetting the fact that she started bitching at him and I guess the girl saw that he was touching my arm because she looked right at me.

It's…my mind must have been playing tricks on me because I swear it was like I was looking at mystery guy all over again.

But that's impossible he is dead I saw him die *sniffle sniffle* I saw him die and no amount of imagination is going to bring back the dead.

I think everything just really caught up to me and I just slammed my face into my hands and sobbed. If not for my guard and young guy I would have collapsed to the floor. I know they said things to comfort me but I was to far gone to even hear what it was.

"FUCKING HELL PIECE OF SHIT! WHO MADE HER CRY? I WILL FUCKING END YOU!" was all you heard and the sound of a door opening and closing.

A bunch of stuttering denials and blaming were issued forth from several lips as the men try to avoid the rage that this teenager is portraying.

Then I was in a single pair of arms and held like I was the most precious thing in all of creation. A soothing hand stroked my hair and back.

I heard a voice it was the teen girl whisper in my ear "hey little girl who can't eat it's okay it's just me. Ready to go save the children I still have your back."

I look up with tears in my eyes that still won't fall and with a trembling lip say "how can you know that only he called me that but you're not him."

She smiles at me and strokes the hair off my face saying "of course I am. I'm mystery guy God just realized that I still had more to do so I got sent back into this body that's all. It's still me though."

Several snickers to that comment and a death glare that put mommy Calypso's to shame soon stopped it though.

I take several deep breaths trying to calm down. Mystery guy…girl…whoever this person is just continued to hold me up and stroke my hair in that soothing fashion.

Finally I nod my head and say "yeah let's go free the others." And step out of her hold.

LIII Christy's Back

I turn to walk toward the cells the girl walks beside me and the twelve fall in behind us. This corridor is a lot smaller then I remember it and we arrive at my 'home' cell in just a couple of minutes.

You can feel the hopeless despair halfway down the corridor. It is so strong that I swear you can see waves of it in the air like heat waves.

I stop and look between my guard and mystery…chick and ask them "what happened? What's going on?"

The guard answered "They don't know anything about what happened to you. Many think you are dead and those that still think you're alive think you left them behind. I did my best to keep them alive and tried to remind them that you are not like that but I don't think they listened."

I had this horrified look on my face. I mean it had only been a couple of months right? 'Did they go back to the way things were before I arrived just because I was gone?'

No something more happened to cause this. "Did anything happen between my escape and when this started?"

Mystery chick with a sad look in her eyes replied "you could say that. They brought all the dead bodies past them surrounded by so many men that no one could see sizes. Your friends were told nothing about your escape."

I nod my head and pick up the pace. I have to show them that I live and that I'm back. They HAVE to see me 'God in Heaven help me know what to say put words in my mouth that can drive out this despair and give them courage once more.'

I arrive to the cell and look in. My heart just breaks. I have no words to describe what I saw in that cell and in the others as we got to them.

The only thing I can describe are the few _believers_ that thought I was still alive.

They had their hands wrapped around themselves sitting on the floor rocking themselves and chanting "she's not dead she's coming back." Over and over again.

I wanted to cry and never stop. I felt shattered just looking at them. I did this by being successful I should have prayed for the strength to get us all out together. I will never leave a friend behind again we go in together and we will leave together forevermore.

I take a deep breath to stop the sobs that want to erupt and say in a soothing voice "hey guys miss me?"

Holy shit did that get a response. The entire room focused onto me so fast that several of them gave themselves whiplash. It was a room full of blank faces staring at me. I just smile and nod at them.

It started as a voiceless sound then it rose until it was a joyous shout "Christy? Christy's back! She's come back to us! She kept her word!"

You saw life slowly enter their eyes until it was like looking at a supernova with your unaided eye. . They were so bright when they saw I was real and not some cruel illusion.

I couldn't help it I laughed out loud. "I'm back now let's go free our people and kick these mother fuckers' asses."

The twelve behind me cheered almost as loud as the children in front of me.

Mystery chick did the honors of opening the door. In a show of respect the ones who never lost their _faith_ in me came out first and embraced me.

Scott held me so hard he started to shake like he had something to tell me but he just couldn't.

I wouldn't push him but I wondered 'where is Megan?'

The pattern of the first cell held for all the cells except the Mormon cell they all believed that I would return and a shout of "finally" came out of their mouths when they saw my face.

I got to my sister's cell and she wasn't there.

I knew it would kill Scott but I had to know "where are the girls?"

Several of them burst into sobs but Scott my brave Scott answered "they took them away. I think they are being tortured by the leader. I don't know where but Christy I think it involves your whole family."

I couldn't help it I gasped out loud. I turn to my guard and say "you told me you were keeping them alive?"

The others including the mystery chick gave my guard the death glare to end all death glares and that one guy reached into his jacket again only no one was stopping him this time.

"YOU BETTER HAVE A FUCKING GOOD REASON FOR THIS DORIAN!" Mystery chick said.

"Of course I do chill out Becks. I mean really you are acting like a child. No I don't know where per say but I have a DAMN good idea I was headed that way when I ran in to you all. IF YOU ALL HAD BEEN ON TIME THIS NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED. IT IS NOT MY FAULT!So back off I mean it damn can't you all do anything right."

Orders were given in unison to two different groups.

I gave my orders to Nick and Scott "Stay here I will find where our families are and send back word. Go to them and stay with them until I come for you then we will get the fucking hell out of this goddamn hellhole together."

Mystery Chick gave orders to my guard "Take us there now Dorian and fill us in on what sections have you looked at already."

Nods from all around and we were off.

I went with the twelve and mystery chick this is my people and I will save them. I got a slight smile and a nod of approval from laughing guy and a wink from the others. (Why do I have that sinking feeling they KNOW what I am thinking.)SHUT UP RICHARD AND ARLEN YOU TOO DORIAN GRAY.

LIV Quick Stop at the Records Room

My Guard leads us to a room and says to us "I believe they were taken to the section where the adults and older children are being kept. We find a map or document stating where that is we will find the missing children and the rest of their families."

"Good job everyone spread out and look for anything about the adults." Mystery chick told us and we spread around the room.

I don't know if I was lucky or subtly lead to the right spot (with the people I know it could easily be either one)(I don't know what you mean Christy)(yes you do don't lie to those generations that are reading this after you)(I NEVER LIE how you say that sadness)(crocodile tears do not make you believable)(real tears BITCH)(full of SHIT bastards)(At least I am full of something smirking, smirking, and smirking)(I am full of creative ideas and colorful language)(lol lol lol lol you win can't stop laughing) within minutes of beginning our search.

"Oh Merciful God in Heaven I found it!" I shout out as I read about our families.

The others crowd behind me and read over my shoulder (you know being behind me I never could see if you were smirking or not),(we would never) (Bull and Shit you would never).

It was a document detailing where in _their_ side of the compound the adults are located. According to the document the building was shaped like an H with the children's and records room on one side and the parents and older children on the other side.

I call out "did anyone find a diagram of this place."

One of the men produce a weird picture (I later learned it is called a blueprint)(poor Christy) and I point out "there that's where we find the parents cells. It looks like this room is the twin of the old torture room so that would be a good place to look for my missing girls."

I look up and they are just beaming at me. It reminds me of a teacher smiling at a student that never participates and that student just raised their hand.

Like they didn't expect me to be that authoritative or something I mean HELLO I am the leader for these kids of course I know how to act like a leader (SHUT THE HELL UP AND NO COMMENTS).

"Hey Dorian guard I need you to head back to the others and tell them where to find their parents. I'm going to go find my missing girls and reunite them with their family personally (that won't be hard one of the girls is my sister)." I look up to him and decide to see just how far my _leadership_ can stretch.

He looks at me Gives me a grin and a two finger salute then turns around and heads out the door.

I look back down at the diagram and see if I can find the door way for that connecting hallway.

"We're here" soothing voice guy says as he points our location out to me on the picture.

I nod my head and memorize the location of the hallway from here.

"I'm going, you coming with?" I ask the rest of the twelve as I turn around from the diagram.

I just love the expressions on their faces. This latest one after my question was a cross between 'I'm so proud of you. You just sounded arrogant' and 'what the fuck else do you think we'd be doing.'

I just nod my head and wade through bodies to lead the way. (For the record even I wasn't such a blond that I didn't realize they were letting me lead. Contrary to what Richard says I do have a brain and I know how to use it. NO COMMENTS I MEAN IT) It was mere minutes until we arrived at the hallway that connects us.

As we walk down this thing I can't help but pray we are not too late to save the girls and possibly my family as well.

Mystery chick just grabs my shoulder in support and we keep walking a little faster. 'God above these people are mind readers' (Oh shut up all of you arrogant assholes especially you Arlen) (WHAT)


	10. Chapter LV thru LX

LV Confrontation

We make it to the other side and I got serious feeling of déjà vu it was like I had somehow doubled back to the hallway where all our cells had been. Of course it probably didn't help that I felt that 'call' from Megan again as soon as I stepped out of the connecting hallway.

Boy did she sound desperate but it was like a sirens call I knew where she was in this side.

I started running I didn't even look back as I yelled out to the men behind me "Find the adults and older children and free them. I'm going after Megan." I heard the pound of feet behind me and knew at least one of them was following me but I never looked to see who.

I slow down when I approach the right 'door' after all I don't want to give myself a way to the enemy (Oh look Richard a **PLAN!**)(not really, just common sense I didn't know you had any)(See I have some stop raising, giving me that look you know what I mean) I can hear voices in the room and as I stand just outside of view by the door way I can make out what they are saying.

"Tell me where she was planning to go now or you will be the reason she has no family to come back for!"

I peak around the door jamb and see the leader of these guys laying into Megan who he has a hold of.

I see off to the side of the room all my family surrounded by guards. 'Damn where the fuck did all these men come from anyway.'

The leader is still threatening her and I can see that Megan is terrified and that she is starting to believe that he is right that if my family were to die it would be her fault for not telling him what she knows.

I had to do something to snap her out of that thought and so I took a calculated risk. I waited until she was turning away from his words and looking in the direction of the doorway. I stepped into the doorway so she could see me then stepped back out of sight.

Megan sweet courageous Megan looked at this man and told him where I was hiding. (ha ha ha I love this part) She said "You want to know where she is? You really want to know where she is? Alright I'll tell you where she is. She is up your ass you fucking piece of shit son of a bitch bastard!"

You know someone has made a lasting impression when the guys own men burst out laughing after they heard that. In fact everyone burst out laughing after they heard that. I sunk to the ground with my hands over my mouth trying to cover my laughter.

As you may have guessed he was less then amused. He struck her in the mouth so hard she fell to the ground at his feet. "You bitch! I will have all the families brought in and you can watch as I kill them all for your back talk to me."

You know what I think it's time to practice my death glare. I appear in the doorway and say "You were looking for me you fucking little asshole I'm right here now keep your filthy hands off her."

My family was over joyed to see me alive. I could hear them in their corner but I could not look over. I couldn't let myself become distracted right now I had to find a way to get them out of this room alive.

"Megan get over to my family now." I say to the girl without breaking eye contact with that piece of shit leader.

She scrambles from the ground and obeys. I guess my death glare is working because I just saw the man flinch and gulp in fear.

"So you get you jollys out of terrorizing little girls but I guess I'm too much of a woman for you to handle because I was never afraid of you or your asshole guards. Your reign of fear is over I'm taking all of us away today and you will never come after us again."

"I couldn't have said it better myself little one. Now get your family out of here and we will handle the rest." A voice spoke from the shadows.

That was a really cool trick I'll have to remember how effective it is (Shut up guys).

LVI When Did I Ever Listen

I am smirking as I turn toward the voice (Yes Richard it was your smirk) and I see laughing guy and gray place guy standing there. I nod my head and run over to my family and Megan.

I look at the guards and see one that is just young enough that he can still be taught about 19 or so. He had short brown hair with hazel eyes and laugh lines on his face.

"If you want to live longer I suggest that you release them now." I tell them with all honesty.

They drop their grips on my family so fast you'd think my family was radioactive or something.

"Mom, Dad, Jared, Toni, Amanda we will have time to reunite later but right now I need to get you out and finish what I started." I could see tears in all their eyes and it streamed down their faces.

I wanted to hug them so bad it hurt but I knew once we latched on we would not be letting go anytime soon.

I turned to the young guard and made a promise with him "I will speak on your behalf and possibly save your life if you escort my family and this girl safely back to where the other adults are located."

The young man's eyes got huge but when he saw I was completely serious in my statement all he did was nod his head.

I then turned to Megan and said "let our guard know about this bargain we struck there are people who came with me to save us all and they will be killing every guard they see. I don't want him dead before I have a chance to save his life."

She only nods in reply as she tries to control her tears.

I watch as my loved ones are escorted back by the young guard and a few others who hope I might speak for them as well if they help.

The other guards who were close enough to hear my words they started running away and hoping they can disappear before my allies catch up to them. I say good luck they'll need it.

I turn back around to face the men they just look at me like 'you were supposed to go with them'.

I look at them and said "no I need to know so I can reassure the others. I ran away once and mystery guy disappeared if you die I want to be able to tell the men you are with all the details. Besides you never said I had to leave so I won't. "

LVII Decision Making

They gave each other a look like 'I'm proud but aggravated at her decision'. They then turned around and discussed who got to kill who.

"I want the ugly one."

"Dude which one is the ugly one"

"Good point they are all ugly. Okay I want this half of the uglys and you have that half."

"No fair I wanted those uglys."

"Too bad I called them first."

I couldn't resist adding to the conversation. "You know if you don't decide soon they just might be able to find enough brain cells amongst them to figure out they could run away while you argue."

Both of them together reply "nah they're too stupid for that. Besides they wouldn't succeed even if we gave them a head start. Should we give them a head start?"

"Hell no!" I answer that question quick.

The guards at this point gulp as they realize their fate.

"Who gets the supper ugly one in the mask?"

I answer that question with pain filled rage voice. "Mystery guy after all that is his killer."

They look back at me and see the emotions I can't contain then they look at the leader. Even from where I stand I can see the evil gleam enter their eyes.

As they say in unison "that ones for the boss." And they start to chuckle.

Well looks like a decision has finally been made, poor bastards. (I know you put on that show for me.)(huh?)

LVIII Compensating

Whatever is about to happen here we go (God in Heaven these people can fight). They turn to face the terrorists and get into what I guess is their fighting stance. It must have included one hell of a scary face because all of the terrorists gulp.

From out of fucking nowhere they draw weapons. Gray place guy draws a staff and holds it at the ready. Laughing guy draws this huge fucking ass sword. 'What is it with these guys and having swords that are bigger than they are.'

They glance at each other and smirk then gray place guy turns toward me and says with a wink "they are compensating." (Aww at least he is honest in his statement I mean look at his choice of weapon.) (WHAT THE FUCKING HELL CHRISTY! I AM NOT COMPENSATING WITH MY STAFF I HAPPEN TO BE THAT BIG!) (If you were really that big you would look like a lying Pinocchio in your trousers.) (THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT IF YOU DOUBT MY SIZE I CAN SHOW IT TO YOU!) (Sweat heart I would take back that offer before my husband and Becka get together to find out why you want to get naked in front of me.) (NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY JOURANAL GODDAMNIT!)

Anyway as I was saying laughing guy had this huge ass sword that I later learned was called a Katana. (I was not compensating for anything you can ask any of my past relationships or Maze if you doubt me.) (Oh he really isn't compensating for anything trust me Christy he is that big) (Maze you realize that children could be reading this so keep it clean will you I want them to stay innocent.) (This coming from the girl who brought up Pinocchio besides children are never innocent) (I will have you know I was completely innocent until I reached the age of 8.) (That is only because your military training is lacking) (Not everyone is a military clone Maze some of us were actually allowed to have lives.) (WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH EVERYONE THINKING THEY CAN WRITE NOTES IN MY JOURNAL! STAY OUT YOU FUCKING MEDDELSOME BASTARDS!) (I only comment when I see blatant inaccuracies Christy if you want proof of the inaccuracies you need only just ask.)

LIX The Fight I Think

So there we were they had their weapons drawn and as I watched them they just disappeared. I know there was a fight that went on because I saw the guards' bodies drop to the ground but I never saw the blow that took them.

Of gray place guy I would see him in the corner of my eye but when I turned to look fully he was gone. If not for the fact I had physically touched him I would have thought he was a fucking ghost.

The only time I saw laughing guy was when he was in front of the leader. He was getting ready to swing his sword when I guess he remembered he was going to keep him alive. So with his sword still raised he lashes out with his other fist and punches him right in the face.

I admit I giggled he knocked the leader out with one punch I am so learning that trick.

The fight really didn't last that long it ended in like two minutes if that. When they approached me laughing guy had the leader over his shoulder and there was no blood on them.

I mean blood splattered the walls on the other side of the room but there was not one drop of blood on them at all. I really want to learn that trick. (Oh stop laughing I can hear you from here.)

"Alright it looks like this side of the H is the same as my side so I should be able to lead us to where the others are at." I tell them.

They just nod their heads and I turn around to do just what I said.

LX Reunion

As we walked down the corridor in hopefully the right direction I could tell my guess was a good one. I could hear voices from up ahead a lot of voices. But I knew it wasn't the sound of battle I was hearing I just witnessed one of those and knew what it sounded like. This was different.

The closer we got the more clearly you could hear the joy in the voices. On my face was a smile that slowly grew into a joyous grin and I quickened my pace.

Then we were there it was them all of them and my joy could not be contained. With a shout of joy and tears in my eyes (weird that they wouldn't fall. NO COMMENTING) I ran toward them.

At the sound of my joy they all turned and with one loud shout of "CHRISTY!" the crowd parted for my family to get through. With tears in their own eyes they ran towards me.

When we met they swooped me up into their arms and my feet would not touch the ground for a while. They passed me form body to body and hugged me so tight I feared I would never draw breath again. I would have threatened to disown them all if they even thought of loosening their grip.

My family when they were ready to share me with the others my dad carried me to the group. There I was passed around just like with my family. I felt like I was a priceless heirloom in their hands.

With much laughing crying and barely coherent words of thanks our reunion was complete. In all this time the men that came with me that brought me back and made this possible never said a word. (Thanks for giving us our moment guys it meant a lot.)


	11. Chapter LXI thru LXVI

LXI What to do With Them

It was hard to disentangle myself from this mass of joy but there were still things to do. I looked for the guards that escorted my family back and found them under guard by the men who came with me. I walk over to them and see if I can spare their lives and convince them to change.

I noticed that laughing guy and gray place guy still have the leader firmly between them and decide to be vindictive to make a lasting image on that young guard and the other escorts.

"Well I think we all have reports to give each other. So who wants to go first?" I ask with a smile on my face.

Dorian guard spoke up "I guess I will. I got back to the children and organized them into lines. I had young Nicholas in the middle of the group and young Scott at the end. I marched them slow enough to avoid any fighting to free the adults and when we arrived the cells were being opened."

I nod to him and turn to the group that separated from me to free said adults.

Surprisingly the one who answered was this really cute guy with long dark chocolate colored hair and dark golden eyes and his right ear was pierced. "After we separated with you we continued down to where the cells are. There we found guards that were attempting to kill the adults. We stopped them but there were casualties involved. We freed the adults and Dorian with the children showed up. Shortly after that reunion a group of guards showed up with your family. At sight of us the guards turned their weapons over to us and young Megan spoke of your request. We have placed them under guard until your return."

I nod to him and smile to the other guards as a show of thanks.

Then I turn serious as I begin **my** report. "As you know when I escaped I did not escape alone. I saw who struck down mystery guy and I wanted to make sure that justice was done and the monster that killed mystery guy didn't get away with it. This piece of shit between them is the leader of this group he is also the monster that killed mystery guy."

I look to mystery girl as I say the next part. "I felt that his fate and punishment should be handled by you. I will speak of my request for the rest of these men after we deal with that asshole."

I have now turned the spotlight over to mystery girl and oh does she know it. She simply smiles so evilly and whispers something in his ear. She takes two steps back and pulls out his sword.

It was this huge and she was holding it with one hand. She is playing with this sword almost lazily and this brings a look of pure horror to the leader's face.

She swings the sword and cuts off his head. "That is for killing Richard. See Christy he has a name."(YOU ARE A SUCH A BITCH SOMETIMES actually I take that back YOU'RE A BITCH ALL THE TIME RICHARD)

Now the rest of the guards are fucking petrified. They are visibly shaking and their eyes fill up half their faces. I look at every one of them and study their faces. There were some I recognized from my stay here and others I had never seen.

To make their heart beat even faster I turn to my people and walk to them. I ask them a question "is there any reason why I should not save these men?"

By their answers I learned that these men would hold down the victim but never initiate the beatings.

I turn and walk back to the men. I have a face so serious that the guards looked at me like I was God himself judging them and if that look was any indication then they are going straight to hell.( STOP SMILING RICHARD)

"These men are idiots. They are fools who are too blind to see the world around them. They are morons who let their youthful stupidity lead them to join a group that is not worth associating with. The same could be said of the young boys in Hitler Germany and the boys in a KKK town." I stop and look at the guards on the ground and they know they will now suffer the fate of their leader.

I sigh then continue "They all did one thing right though. They never started the violence. They never stopped the violence either for that they would earn the same fate as those they associated with who did relish in the violence. However I believe that these men can still be taught the correct way to be a man. They are still capable of learning from their mistakes. Deep down they still know how to do the right thing."

I look at them once more and this time I see in their eyes a look that said we-love-you-we-will-do-whatever-you-say-you-are-our-saving-goddess. (Oh God she did turn into Richard) (!)(just deal Christy)(BUT)(you did the right thing)(ASSHOLES STOP SMIRKING).

"It is my decision that these men do not deserve to die. Have some sense knocked into their heads oh hell yes but there is still something in them worth salvaging." I turn to the twelve when I say this.

I end my plea with this command "Boys turn your-selves into the authorities. Do the time then go to this group of soldiers that is found in D.C we will give you directions later and learn from them how to be honest law abiding citizens. Then beat THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THOSE LAZY ASSHOLES and teach **them** that when they are called upon for help they need to help their fellow man."

I turn to the men and see several of them snicker at my last request. Oh come on you think I'd be able to resist. Anyway it was agreed that the men would be spared.

I turned to the others and shout "round up your loved ones we are heading out!"

I turn to the young guard "lead us out boy start your lessons early."

LXII Freedom

I will never forget the moment that they stepped outside after being stuck in a cell for a year and a half for as long as I live. You saw in mass everyone fall to their knees take fistful of grass in both their hands then bow their faces to the ground and breathe in the scent of grass and dirt.

The children I personally protected looked up at me with tears in their eyes and said "you didn't make up the outside in those stories that you told us it really does exist."

All I could do was nod and smile.

The guards told us the date for today and my friends and family wept. Today is my eleventh birthday and my birthday present is freedom. It's going to be really hard to top this present (but I managed it for my twelfth birthday).

I didn't realize until much later that freedom comes with a price. If I had known I would have been much more vocal while I had the chance.

Those lazy assholes that refused to help me were supper elite soldiers for my country and it was an embarrassment for my government when they learned what had happened. (They should have fucking been embarrassed I was embarrassed having them be my countrymen and I didn't even train them).

We didn't learn the lengths that our government would do to make this embarrassment just go away not for several months down the line. (Yeah because yelling at the lazy bastards and reiterating the previous training would just make too much sense fucking dumbass government start using your God given common sense.)

Anyway we made it home and started the long process of getting our lives back in order.

Our government seemed to want to **help** us by providing _free_ healthcare, private tutors that got us caught up to our age groups, and many more services that we just thought was their way of apologizing to us while saving face.

We were wrong. They were buying our silence and setting up the means to blackmail us all.

You heard right our government officials instead of admitting that they fucked up decided to _place_ the blame on us and make us pay for it.

It almost worked if wasn't for a small group of soldiers helping us. It was thanks to mystery girl who I then learned was going by the name Rebekah Bankert. (Yet they wonder where my opinion of politicians came from.)(By the way you are welcome Christy.)

LXIII School Lunches and Reality

Like I said the shit didn't hit the fan until much later. First came settling back into the home life. There were bad things and there were good things that came out of that.

The bad thing is that I could not eat normally. I ate every three days just like I did during our capture. I just couldn't make myself eat like I used to my body simply was not hungry and did not register hunger until the third day.

This really freaked my family out you know but what could I do. I ate a real meal with normal amount of food that third day but that was it.

I would only eat one meal that whole day and no food for the next three days. I could see where my family was coming from I really could but there was nothing that could be done about it I just could notmake my body respond the way they wanted it to.

Well that's enough bad for now let's talk about something good. Nicholas came over to my house and invited me back to his house.

Not just once you know but like a steady thing. '*squeal* He knows I exist! He wants to know me! He wants to be seen with me! Oh my gosh this is the best thing ever! *squeal*'.(Ahh young love.) (I think I just went deaf from the squealing and I thought the fan girls over me were bad) (Arlen you know all those fan girls are really just Maze in drag right) (No they can't all be him well maybe the second one on the right) (I don't do drag) (with those hips Maze sure you do) (*Maze while glaring at Christy turns to Zey and asks "may I barrow your arrows please" Zey turns to Maze and asks "which one" Maze answers "the annoying one" Zey repeats the question then adds "it fits both" Maze answers with "ok two arrows then" Zey passes two arrows and his bow over to Maze.*) (STOP WRITING IN MY STORY ASSHOLES I AM RUNING OUT OF ROOM. NO YOU CAN'T HELP FIX THAT.)

Anyway dad gave me lunch money every day hoping that I would buy food and eat it. Yea that didn't happen. But I would try to force myself to eat like a normal person you know. So the lunch ladies and I we had like a special deal going on right.

I would buy a lunch at a little more than normal lunch price one day and that meal would be spread out for three days. The lunch ladies would only cook a small _Christy_ size portion save the rest of a normal portion uncooked back at _headquarters_ and then cook a little of the left over portions over the three day period.

The other two days of school Nicholas would share his lunch with me. Every day he sat down beside me and we had lunch together he was always trying to get me to eat more.

Our entire table was made up of those of us _who were there _including the annoying mystery chick Richard who now goes by the name Rebekah.

That was the new routine for us. We were slowly readjusting to life on the outside. To make the transition easier we would all be in the same class and they even had a special class that was made up of all of us in the school regardless of grade.

Yes once a day (twice if you count lunch) I spent time with the newly named mystery girl. (The lifetimes long pain in my ass) (but I thought you like my ass) (only when I get to kick it) (but you've never been able to kick it) (I will one day Richard you just watch) (I won't hold my breathe) (oh please do hold your breathe then when you pass out I can really kick your ass) (well that would give you a fighting chance I might accommodate you) (you condescending mother fucker bastard I can beat you with out your insultingly offered help. Stop raising your eyebrows) (raises an eyebrow higher) (STOP COMMENTING I AM RUNNING OUT OF ROOM. I TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE AND ARLEN I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU WITH THAT FUCKING PEN IN YOUR HAND AGAIN.) (what I was going to help you edit.) (just give me the Damn pen and stop writing in my journal and adding those pages to the back.) (Don't shrug your shoulders at me bastards.)

LXIV The Bastards Brilliant Plan

It was a week into our new school life when I noticed for the past couple of days my friends would gather around Rebekah and have a whispered conversation with him.

That's weird they usually avoid him like he was one of the damn guards so why are they seeking him out now.

I wouldn't learn the answer until much later when I asked them. The answer was "we wanted to help you."

I realize now to late that in my youthful zeal to help them survive that hellhole I got them into a bad habit. I got them used to waiting for somebody else to do the work for them.

'I am so sorry my friends it is my entire fault. I turned you into this…this…thing where you lost your independent spirit. I really am a horrible person can you ever forgive me?'

This was how they decided to go about it; they asked Rebekah for help. Well maybe more than help.

"Hey can you get her to eat. She doesn't eat enough to keep a humming bird alive."

"Look I know you and her have this thing together so use your influence and make her stuff her face. It's depressing to watch her continue to starve herself."

"She's freaking us out. I just don't know what to tell her to make her eat can you come up with something."

"Yo you and her are really close right? I mean I see you all the time at her side at lunch and in the class we have together. So I noticed she doesn't eat worth shit and she didn't eat worth shit while we were there either. Look use your voodoo power on her and get her to eat more ok. Hey why are you raising your eyebrow at me?"

On and on along those lines every one of them asked Richard for help. Well not everyone. Nicholas never really asked Richard for help it was more comparing notes and asking for advice.

"I get her to share my lunch with me twice a week. I pack enough for two each time I do. But no matter how I try or even beg she seems to hit this 'wall' where she physically can't eat anymore. That wouldn't be so bad but the wall happens after only a couple of bites and small bites at that. What can I do to make this wall happen later?" Nick asked him at the start of week two.

Sorry Christy I am now taking over your story you have no choice. YOU were there so you may tell for now. Yeah I get to tell the story yeah me.

I laid into those dumb asses it went sort of like this. "What the fucking hell you know that if you showed a little caring then she would want to eat. DON'T YOU RELIZE THAT JUST A LITTLE LOVE GOES A LONG WAY. I DON'T DO VOODOO YOU MOTHER FUCKERS I ACTUALLY SHOW I CARE. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU CARE SHIT CAN CHANGE THINGS. DON'T KNOW WHY SHE CARED FOR YOUR ASSES THOU YOU PIECES OF SHIT. YOU TWO I AM NOT TALKING TOO." I said this last part to Nick and this girl named Carrie Marie. Who showed they actually cared. I am now done telling what happened Nick you take over.

Thank you Richard I think I will. I'm sorry my love I will try to make this quick but some things really have to be said. (And you never say them). Richard can be one scary mother fucker when it wants to be. (It? I'm a he/she/it not just an it). I mean holy shit I was glad he singled me out as one of the ones that he wasn't mad at. Richard's eyes had actual flames in them.

I thought Christy got mad during that time of torture but damn even she can't compare to Richard in rant mode. (Sorry baby it's true but I love you when you're mad). (Eww sick love birds). (You are just jealous Richard because I get to tap her and you don't.) (Wrong wrong wrong wrong EW I think I'm going to be sick.) (So is it possible to make you sick enough to die I'm sure Christy and I could work on it if it is.) (*gaging in the background*) (*smirk* Christy I think it is possible let's make notes.)

Life just wouldn't be complete without telling the reaction of the others there. First the other girl who got singled out as _not_ in trouble well she just smirked clapped her hand over her mouth and watched everyone squirm especially with the voodoo comment.

Richard ranted for approximately for 15 minutes. We were all late to class but none of us dared move until he was done. Mostly due to the fact I know there were flames coming out of his head as he spoke. Everyone's faces for the most part turned ghost white kinda like Casper the friendly ghost. Even I was sweating by the end of it.

The really fun part happened at lunch without saying one word he walks up to Christy and pretty much shoves a pill down her throat. He then tells her to swallow or she will never be able to eat again. And if she doesn't eat then I would not ever ask her out on a date. (Why me I would have asked you out love, you know that right?) After this I never asked him for help again. (Welcome to my life my darling.) After this somehow she was able to eat normally again.

LXV Sickness and Admittance

Hey kids remember that fever I got back when I was being tortured well guess what it came back fiercer than ever.

My body was under nourished (shut the fuck up or I swear I will find a way to make you mortal and kill all your asses I MEAN IT SHUT UP!) (*all in unison "what"*) (you know what and stop writing in my journal) it also had the stress of a typical school kid who wasn't used to the typical school crowds or structure anymore.

Is it any wonder I got sick. (no) (Oh shut up it was rhetorical) (okay) (*sigh* whatever) (*smiles from all*) (fucking assholes I know you were just whittling me down until I let you write in my journal. Don't think I don't know what you were doing. I just want to finish the fucking story.)

Now normally this would not pose a problem someone that sick goes to hospital and doctors cure you or fight for you until you die.

However for my group of torture victims the government was really pushing hard to silence us. My family at the time had yet to **agree** with being _**blackmailed**_. The government decided to push every _negotiating _advantage they could exploit to see that we would comply.

So somehow they found out just how sick I was. The government decided to block any chance that we could go elsewhere to find help.

By barricading all roads to us, have the doctors refuse to attend to my illness and basically willing to watch me die until we agreed and I mean all of us agree to be…blackmailed. Think America's Most Wanted and we're the number one fugitive. I swear they had the entire police force and military on standby to keep us from going anywhere.

I'm eleven people when the hell did I become such a threat. I know it sounds a little extreme right. But you got to remember government people don't think like normal people they just don't.

There were representatives there to…hear us cave basically. My dad is holding his dying baby girl (I was the youngest remember) in his arms what was he going to say 'no!' Yea right he agreed and one by one so did the others until I alone had not made the agreement.

Keep in mind I have a high fever I am _delusional_ and they want me to agree to be blackmailed. I doubt I will remember any of this shit when I am back to normal why would anyone believe a fevered girls promise.

But the jokes on them I let them hear what they wanted to hear. You see every single fiber of my being, everything that makes me…me cried out 'HELL NO I WILL NOT BE BLACKMAILED!' My lips said that I would.

These representatives that were supposed to know if we were lying or not, never saw that I was lying through my teeth right to their face.

So they were so happy we were on board and I got admitted at last to the hospital.

LXVI Doctors Want Me Dead

My fever was a bad one a really bad one. But since we were _playing_ ball with the government there were some perks for us like a private room for me and overlooked visiting hours for family and friends (well he was future family so I guess he still counts as both).

I was a medical miracle they made several journal articles about me alone. (See even back then I was the freak of freaks lucky me.)(No baby I am.)(Maze you don't need to be writing in MY story the others stopped. Stop with those eyes. I mean it.) The doctors that were assigned originally to my case gossiped like old women and I managed to be seen by every practicing doctor, visiting physician, and snot nosed med student in the area.

What the Hell they found so fascinating about little old me I just don't understand? I mean it couldn't be from finding out how little I ate for as long as I did. It couldn't be from all the scars they saw on my body although I did have several med students run sobbing to the nearest toilet when they saw the shape of a tic tac toe board on my back. I was actually coherent at the time and I just laughed over that one. I was just your typical girl nothing special about me so what kept them coming back to my room in droves?

Oh I know that answer it was my temperature. I had a temperature so high they couldn't believe I was still alive. I swear it just kept getting higher for the sole purpose to piss them off and freak my family out. These doctors would show up every day to see if this is the day when I would literally burst into flames. (What can I say? I'm an overachiever; Hey why no commenting you did it before.)(You gave permission no point anymore).(YOU ARE A BUNCH BASTARD DICK WADS FULL OF SHIT).

Anyway wait until you hear the best part. The treatment they conducted for me. I swear it was something you would find in Pocahontas time. I mean they would fill up a bathtub with a block of ice in it. Then they would lay me on it and when it would melt and the water would boil they would let me out.

Between the ice sessions it was wet cloth wiping me down I mean seriously what is this the Wild West. You can see how much the doctors wanted to see me survive. Oh I had IV lines and heart monitor and all that modern stuff they should have been using but it was all window dressing. They weren't really trying so they can't be surprised that my temperature kept going up. (Just to let you know none of the modern stuff would have helped. There are only a couple of ways to bring down a fever and those were it, no meds would help either. I understand that you don't know that but you are a healer they were trying to save you, healer oath. At first their hands were tied too. Remember judge not lest ye be judge. I don't care if you hate me for saying that but YOU were WRONG. From your friendly neighborhood trickster DORIAN GRAY as you call me.) (You know I hate being called wrong. But just because I want to be wrong in this case I'll let it go. You know I have been trying to find a doctor to teach me the side of medicine I don't have yet but I just can't seem to find the right set of timing to learn the non-battlefield side of medicine. There was a room full of people in lab coats that just fucking stood there and watched me burn so you can't say all the doctors were remembering their oath.)(Some of these people aren't doctors HELLO, end of story.)


	12. Chapter LXVII thru LXXIII

LXVII They Got My Back

So let's go back to the people who are forced to watch me in this condition my family and friends. Well to give them credit they did all visit once I guess they were scared spit-less of what Richard would do to them if they didn't. I don't think she would kill them most likely just claim they aren't worth yelling at and then dismiss them from his mind.

My family was there every day for the most part in shifts. Mom didn't leave at all though so that might explain why they went to her with their little scheme. But I get ahead of myself.

The delightful surprise and permanent fixture in my room is none other than one Nicholas… my hearts other half. In one of my few coherent moments he was visiting me and he made a promise "to never let go" and on that day he took hold of my hand and never released it until my fever broke.

My sister Amanda ended up showing up as often as possible to counter act the bullshit they were feeding my mom. Thank God for Nick and Mandy if not for them I would not be here today.

The doctors kept trying to insist that I could not recover and that the humane thing to do would be to end my life. They wanted to put me down like I was some sort of goddamn dog.

Nick would cast himself upon me shielding my body with his own while my sister would scream at the top of her lungs "their trying to kill my sister!"

They would cause such a commotion that the doctors were forced to back down for the sake of all the other patients at the hospital. I am only alive today because they fought for me until I could fight my own battles again.

LXVIII Damnit Mom What the Hell is Wrong With You?

You know why my sister and Nick had to fight so hard for me? It was because my mom was giving up on me. I mean come on mom pay attention my breathing was regular my heartbeat was steady and you know that I am a fighter. WHY WOULD YOU BELIEVE THEIR SHIT?

We come from a family that believes in miracles and we have worthy priesthood holders in the family. I mean come on it's called a healing blessing and Heaven knows we had plenty of priesthood holders who would volunteer to give it.

I don't recall mom ever telling me I was given such a blessing. I would like to know why not and why the hell didn't you get a blessing for yourself mom. I mean jeez you needed one more than I did.

Looking back I guess the thing I was most pissed about was the loss of time. This was the last moments of my family's lives and it was spent with me delusional and dying in a hospital room. My last memories and it was wasted by that damn fever that just irks me.

(Christy this is the last comment I will make about this: DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU KEEP GOING. THIS WAS VERY HARD ON YOUR MOTHER AND SHE WASN'T GIVING UP. DON'T COMMENT BACK.)

LXIX Damn She Lived

Well as I'm writing this damn thing you know what happens next. The fever breaks and I wake up. My eyes open to the gorgeous site of Nick sitting next to me. Then he sees I'm awake I mean really awake and he smiles at me. Oh my gosh his smile is like a blind man regaining sight. It was the first time he smiled at me he was always too worried about me to smile before. He takes the hand he had been holding the entire time and he kissed the back of my hand like I was a princess.

"Welcome back Sleeping Beauty we missed seeing your pretty blue eyes." His eyes held something in them that I had never seen before but I knew I wanted to keep seeing that look.

I tried to speak but nothing came out. Well that's weird but even stranger is I don't think Nick realized that I was trying to speak at all. I mean my mouth was open… wasn't it?

"Christy…baby what's wrong?" His smile is disappearing from his face.

I try to tell him nothing is wrong but again nothing comes out. He looks like he is about to say something else when you hear a squeal from the doorway.

"CHRISTY! MOM, DAD, EVERYONE SHE'S AWAKE!" my sister Amanda is the newest Banshee.

The thing is that I knew it was my sister by seeing her out the corner of my eye. When I tried to turn my head I couldn't move. Actually I don't remember blinking even once since Nick smiled at me or Mandy's entrance.

I wasn't the only one who caught on either. Nick was looking at me funny like I was a difficult math problem that he was determined to solve.

My sister was oblivious in her excitement to see me aware again. She ran into my room and threw herself onto me and hugged me. My first thought is who the fuck are you and what have you done with my sister. I wanted to hug her back but nothing I have tried to do is working. Why won't my body do what I want?

"I'm so glad to see you awake you are never allowed to be sick ever again I want your promise that no matter what you won't ever be sick again Christy promise me oh it's so great to see you looking at me and knowing who I am you do know who I am right I your bestest sister ever that's who none of the others worked as hard as I did to keep you here those mean creeps oh your aware again I'm so happy to see you aware."

She said all of this with one breath and it was only when she was about to pass out form lack of air in her lungs that she stopped talking and hugged me again. I am really confused now what the fuck is going on? Why won't anyone tell me what happened? My head was full of questions to ask and my damn mouth isn't working right.

"Manda she needs air let go." Nick said to my sister.

Wait did he just call her Manda? That's a name that only I ever called her why would Nick be using my nickname for my sister. I am more confused than ever God would you make someone tell me what's going on.

Just then my sister snarled like a rabid dog. What the hell could get that reaction from **her**? Well from them Nick stiffened and his hand tightened on mine like he was getting ready to throw his body in front of a bullet meant for me.

I can't see around my sister to whoever it is that got them so riled up but boy do I hear what she has to say.

"We'll be telling her what she wants to know and what she needs to know you can get the fuck out until I goddamn feel like getting your ass then and only then will you get near her. So leave you fucking assholes." My sister sounded like she was possessed I had never seen Amanda this mad before.

"We need to examine the girl children please step away." A low soothing voice said.

"No you vultures won't get near her until we tell her what's going on so she knows what to expect from the likes of you." Nick glares at the speakers and his voice is as scary as my sisters.

"You heard him get the fuck out or I'll throw you out." Amanda said as she stands up.

They must have dealt with her enough that they knew to believe her. The sounds of feet leaving could be heard. My sister turned around and smiled at me as she came to sit by my legs on the bed.

"Okay Christy this is what happened." My sister began.

It was a long explanation and each took turns telling the story. The only way they knew to explain something more was reading the confusion in my eyes. I couldn't even frown.

When it was over my sister told me that it reminded her of the story about the one lady did I remember the news story.

I remember that during this time there was a news report about a woman who was on life support for like forever and finally she was allowed to be unplugged. I remember that her husband wanted to unplug her a long time ago but her parents wouldn't let her.

Well what if she was like me? What if she was going to wake up the next day but they unplugged her to soon? After what Amanda and Nick told me I couldn't help but feel that maybe they were wrong to do that to her.

(That's it Christy I'm taking over. Since you can't do the fucking research here is the research.)

This is the story from your mother's point of view. When you first became sick all the doctors could think about was how to bring your fever down. They tried everything from baths to cool towels nothing worked. All you did was to get hotter. Did you know that when you stay too hot for too long it causes your brain to turn to mush. So your mother was praying that you would come out okay. So it didn't turn out exactly as planned. She prayed every night for four months that you would wake up. She never gave up but her fear was that you would be a vegetable. You would not be alive in your mind. THAT YOU COULDN'T LIVE A FULL LIFE. But since you know everything I guess you knew that too. WHATEVER don't care that is all I will ever say about what happened. She prayed that "Nothing physically wrong with her and that she would be better then before." Too bad she only got half that wish, you could be better but you wouldn't forgive. God says to forgive everyone not just your best friends. At least your mother loves and doesn't judge. She is at least proud of you, I used to be.

Dorian stop being a brat you are proud of her, you mention it all the time now kiss and make up. CHRISTY I love you too and am proud of you. ARLEN STOP LAUGHING I said for Dorian to hug her not you. But I hug better you know that. Tristan no she is not your dress up doll and NO ARROWS ZEY. Bjorn you can't teach her to use your ax. Rafael no just no you too Alfonse just hell no. Anthony please don't agree with Dorian, yes I know he had a point but the guilt only goes so far. Yes she is truly sorry. Everyone stop this over kill and I don't wanna die and I don't think she does. Christy take your story back Dorian give it back now!

Mom never told me her side of things not even after she died and in my family death was not a hindrance. Maybe she didn't want it to sound like an excuse I don't know Mom's mind is hard to figure out. I know I may regret this but thank you Dorian My Guard for attempting to tell Mom's side you're the first one who did.(Stupid humans) (your one of us now so get used to it)(but I am not stupid.)(DORIAN)(but ric)(no)(yes your lordship)(GRRRRRRRRR).

LXX What the HELL is Wrong With Her

Anyway back to the story **right boys**. (yes your ladyship) (do you really want me to turn into Richard DORIAN GREY aka GUARD)(I am not a storybook person I am living see I bleed.) (And if Richard loans me his sword you will bleed even more)(BRAT we made you into him/her or is it an it) (Damn straight)

Ahem! So now I'm awake and aware and the first thing I notice was Nick holding my hand. (aww young love leaving.) The next thing I noticed was I can't let go of his hand.(kinky young love, left) (ALFONSE SHUT THE HELL UP IT WASN"T LIKE THAT yet)(So that is how it is now, Back) (I could go into details but there are young readers and I don't want to scar them for life)(they know about sex) (*death glare Richard style*)(Good Job)

As I was saying I wanted to let go but I physically couldn't. Something is wrong something is very wrong here. I can't move anything! I can't even blink and that's not supposed to happen.

I have a theory as to why I couldn't blink I think somehow the wrong switch got toggled in my mind. It's like the staring game you know the first to blink loses. So somewhere in your body/mind there is a voluntary aspect to the blink thing that lets you stop and start the blinking. My body/mind _thought_ it was in that _game_ when I first woke up so it wouldn't blink or more likely couldn't blink as it should have.

So yeah back to the actually story. I'm starting to get frightened and the only way you could tell is that the monitors were going haywire. The doctors were allowed back in to find out what's wrong and why I can't seem to tell my loved ones why the monitors are going crazy.

The doctors come in and during their exam they realized that my spinal cord is completely paralyzed. To this day I am not really sure if it was mental (shut up all of you comment and die) (LOL) or physical problems that made me paralyzed. As soon as I could I DID RESEARCH Dorian into anyone else who suffered this…whatever it was and I couldn't find anyone I mean I hacked into Langley and checked out their records nothing. (Of course not those are government files they don't have shit in them).

I could sense everything touch-wise. I could feel pressure and pain all over my body if you poked me I knew it and I knew where I just couldn't respond. I could still see unless you took my glasses away then I was blind. I could hear and smell normal. Although I think the doctors were unusually loud on some of their tests. Once you opened and closed my mouth I could taste everything the human body should be able to taste. I just couldn't move that's all.

Well I could move my eyeballs around in my head I don't know why they were the only body part I could move _voluntarily_. I found quickly that I could blink again. But I was sure glad I could I created my own language using those eyes. (kinky, kinky, kinky) (ALFONSE NO JUST NO) I rolled my eyes left for yes right for no and side to side for I don't know or maybe. (*back of her head* kinky sex) (Alfonse I'm getting Richards sword) (*whimper*) Plus I let down every wall I ever built and let my eyes truly reflect my soul. Whatever I felt I made sure my eyes showed it to anyone watching me. (Awwww)

Nick had the bright idea to tell Richard aka mystery girl (It's Rebekah at that moment) about what happened. She showed up at the hospital and somehow she just knew what I wanted and acted as my mouth. (KINKY) (*Richard and Christy* No just no Alfonse) Plus Richard found all these experts that would help me to relearn whatever I had to or wanted to.

But I get a little bit ahead of myself. So during the doctors' examination they notice my hand in Nick's hand. They know that I can't let go but when they discover that Nick can't let go either things get a little dicey. (This is why I had no doubt about the opinion of doctors that I got listening to Nick and Amanda.) (not all doctors are idiots. Calypso is one) (ONE is not an idiot the rest are) (all my men can be considered doctors) (ok more then one) They got it into their heads that they should just amputate the thing off so we could be separated. Guess whose hand they wanted to lop off…you bet mine. (Dorian are you surprised about my views on doctors especially these doctors now. I ask you in your sound medical _researched_ out opinion how the hell is a massive amount of blood-loss supposed to help me recover.)(Cauterization no blood-loss) (Smartass)

Well thank goodness between them they didn't have enough intelligence to know that. I'm sure they would have tried it. As it was the smart one of the group came up with the solution to pry apart our hands. When they told my mother to get her consent I'm sure she was thinking the doctors would work on pulling open one finger at a time and just slide their hands apart. In all honesty I think that is what the guy who suggested it was thinking too. (See Dorian I acknowledge that a doctor besides you guys can have intelligence. He just lost it when he didn't stick to his guns.) That's not what the rest of them did.

Once my mom gave her consent the rest of the doctors went to get the equipment for the procedure. The doctor who came up with the idea stayed with mom probably thinking to himself what equipment. Those fucking idiots (and Dorian in a minute you will see why it is only to true to call them this) showed up with a crowbar. I would just like to go on record as saying _WHAT THE FUCK a CROWBAR?_ These idiots decided that the only way to pry our hands apart was with a crowbar.

This would not have been so bad if they actually knew how to use the fucking thing. But I swear it was like watching an episode of the Three Stooges they damn near took my hand off with their fucking incompetence. (That is why I have such a low opinion of doctors) (Christy I keep telling you they are **government doctors** not all real doctors are like that.) (Well let me tell you something about **government doctors** Dorian they publish. With a really good proof reader these idiots are getting their idiotic ideas printed in sound medical journals. These medical journals are accredited research materials for students and residents of the medical field and they use it to make decisions about their patients. Otherwise intelligent **non-governmental doctors** are being brainwashed by idiots masked as intelligent written material. It has become an epidemic and Dorian if we don't stop it now only the stupid will remain. HELP US DORIAN GREY MY GUARD YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.) (You really need to stop laughing Arlen, you are turning blue) (Christy I am now proud of you. You almost killed an immortal.) (Thank you Dorian I knew I could make you proud of me again.)

LXXI The Longest Recovery Ever

Anyway I now needed to relearn about everything and so that means physical therapy along with other things. Okay so what was everything I need done to get back to normal.(what is normal may I ask.) Well the blinking thing came back on its own thank goodness but I still couldn't move or lift my head. Nor could I speak or do anything else that you use your mouth for. (Shut up you bunch of fucking perverts I mean seriously get your minds out of the gutter.) I couldn't move any part of my body but all my organs were working fine.

I would just like to take the time to say DAMN IT ALL I WAS FINALLY EATING ENOUGH TO QUIT FREAKING OUT EVERYONE and now this. I ended up losing all the fat (you mean muscle you were never fat love.) I had just built back up. I had my eyes plead to Richard to see if there was a pill I could take that would help me not freak them out again. I really didn't want to do that.

Okay that's all I want to say about that. So I had physical therapy to relearn how to move my body and how to walk, run, and the active stuff kids should be able to do. It took the rest of the year to get back to normal human levels of movement. Part of that was because it was hard work and the other part was that my days were just filled with stuff that sometimes it was hard to fit in the session of physical therapy.

So what did my days consist of in those many, many months. Well there was the social visits so that I was not emotionally or socially paralyzed as well as physically paralyzed. Then there were the visits with experts that made sure I could talk, sing, write, and other forms of communication. There were the subject experts that made sure I didn't fall behind in my schoolwork. In fact I improved myself I learned how to spell and proper grammar which I never had been able to do before and you could actually read my hand writing. Plus I became ambidextrous since the physical therapists thought it would be a good way to learn fine motor skills in my hands and arms.

But best of all this is what made the fever so worth it I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO WHISLE! YESSSSSSSS! (You just wanted to let Nick know how much you wanted him even then huh Chris. Come on you can tell your uncle Rafael.)

(Hey if he did for you what he did for me back then HELL YES you would want to whistle at him too.) Nick had to go through physical therapy too for his hand. Apparently the muscles in his hand were so used to being in that one position that they had to be reminded that they could move into other positions. It's sort of like the mother of all writer's cramp only without the cramp. So Nick went through physical therapy with me.

We started the first day together and he gaged his 'days' around me so that we ended our physical therapy together as well. (Oh tell me that is **not** worth one helluva cat call.) (MEOWWW! IS that good enough for you! At least you don't make me give you the sex talk Chris.) (No as I recall Alfonse and Trist were all too willing to fill that role I think I would have preferred you. You can't possibly be that perverted to an innocent virgin that didn't know anything about sex.)(NO Chris the old man would have blushed like a virgin. You should have seen it when he gave Richard the talk.) (Hey did he have to give the talk in every lifetime to Richard? I think I would have liked to see Rafael blush like a virgin. I doubt he remembers when he last was a virgin.)

So anyway after too damn long a time I finally make it back to the way I was before the fever struck me down. Only now I can do more shit then I was able to before. (Wow that line is just scary in its simple prophetic statement).

LXXII Birthday Party and the Guest List

Finally I am out of that damn hospital. I never want to be in another hospital until I am giving birth. (Stop laughing you assholes. You don't think I am crazy enough to **want** natural child birth. A…Hell No give me drugs!) So I made it home before my 12th birthday. My family was acting weird at that time I just thought it was stress from all the shit that happened to us within the last three years. I was right but wrong at the same time. I never found out all that happened to them until their funeral.

But birthdays are supposed to be happy times so back to happier topic. My parents decided that I could have my first ever birthday party with friends. I could pick the place and I could pick who could come. I was so excited I could have more presents that were nothing like the guards gifts that one time yea presents! The biggest present was my brother Jared came back from college just so he could celebrate one last birthday with me.

So I chose to go to an amusement park the last one I had went to was Disney World when I was five. For the people I invited I chose Megan, Scott, Nick, and Richard along with _their_ families.

I knew I wanted to invite everyone but my family is not that rich so I narrowed it down to those who were the most _loyal_ to me during all my hard times.

Anyway the park was awesome I mean I went on everything and just went all over the park. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves immensely. It was the happiest memories we had in a while.

I should have known my luck wouldn't hold. Anyway there was this simulation ride that I wanted to go on and everyone but Richard and his family decided to go on it too. That was the worst mistake I ever or will ever make in all my life. I should have stayed the hell away from that ride. It changed all of our lives forever.

So we got on and the ride started up normal but soon the normalcy ended and my life of lonely guilt ridden hell began.

LXXIII Ending but not really

This believe it or not this was merely a summary of what happened. If you want to read the full details of what happened read my journals. They're found in that huge trunk locked in my room. In my journals I have details like every thought every emotion every prayer ever uttered by anyone just everything that happened there. Everything is in chronological order so if you want to read my life history in details keep things in order for the next nosy person okay guys thanks.

That goddamn mother fucking piece of shit bastard. How could he not tell me it was him? How could he say that to my face? Everyone is worth saving worth fighting for. Like I didn't figure that much out on my own you prick of an arrogant asshole but that still never answered **any** of my life long questions. I can't believe I spent my life living it the way I did and you won't give me a fucking straight answer. Goddamn you to roast in hell Richard fucking answer me already! (You already know the answer, just think it will come to you. GAINT SMIRK)

A/N: Wow that was an epic story wasn't it thanks for sticking with it. For those of you who are now hooked with my character Christy don't worry there is more Christy coming soon. After all she is only just turning twelve. This is a life story journey and the next installment to take place is early teenage years 12-15. I might end the next part at her Sixteenth birthday party or I might begin the third part of her story with it I haven't decided yet.

Anyway if you want to keep going with our heroine then look for the story Life's Full of Surprises. See you soon loyal viewers.


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